16 questions that reveal the ‘casual’ sexism women experience every day. Also, nobody else suffers these same experiences. Nobody. At all. Ever. Because… you know… reasons!

Posted: March 22, 2015 in Uncategorized

Have I mentioned that feminists like to play the victim? I have? Oh, good, then I can dispense with the overly long intro and just get straight to the point – feminism’s victimhood is so entrenched, so ingrained into the very fabric of the entire movement that it becomes completely oblivious to anything that doesn’t directly involve women.

Maybe that’s a little unfair, I mean maybe in the past I would have just tarred every feminist with the same brush, said they were scum, told women to abandon the tag and remove themselves from the movement. I used to do that but not anymore.

Why? Well, I posted an entry a few months ago and saw it was shared by another person (this was back when I was part of the team at Exposing Feminism and more actively involved in the MRM). A comment on that shared post accused me of being sexist because I was telling women what to do and how to live their lives. A little bit of an overreaction I thought but, essentially, she was right. I have no right to tell women and what to and what not to believe.

So no, I am no longer arrogant enough to assume I can simply tell women what to do with their beliefs. However, that does not mean I am letting feminism off the hook as a movement. Whilst I don’t think every single feminist under the sun is a man hater, I do believe that pernicious and insidious thoughts permeate the feminist movement and filter down to the everyday feminist. That’s why I think NAFALT is an empty concept. Yes, feminists may not outwardly hate men but I do believe they are still subject to so much anti-male sentiment that they do start to believe it, even if they don’t think so. Not every feminist, but enough to render NAFALT redundant.

That’s why I claim that the victimhood that is so incessant in feminism is all-consuming. It makes regular, grass-roots, everyday feminists believe that they are the only sufferers of sexist injustice or that if men don’t suffer the exact same type of sexism that it doesn’t count. Men suffer different types of sexism but that doesn’t mean that the sexism men do suffer is somehow less important or less worthy of discussion.

So, victimhood. How exactly does the drip-feed of anti-male sentiment through the feminist movement create this victimhood? Well, rather than looking at instances of sexism as a human condition, as something that affects people, not just women, feminism looks solely at women. It has no concept of people, no concept of the other, it simply focuses on women. This simply create a vacuum, a wave of anti-women sentiment that is almost possible to avoid. In short – if you look for sexism against women you’ll find it. If you look for sexism, just plain old sexism, you’ll find it. The difference is that the latter option doesn’t make you look like a goddamn, self-opinionated fool.

So, what piece of feminist victimhood has got my pretty panties in a bunch this week? Another- bloody-Twitter-hashtag-that-claims-to-speak-for-all-women-without-actually-speaking-for-all-women-and-disregarding-those-women-who-say-it-doesn’t-speak-for-them-and-calling-them-all-sorts-of-names! Aaaand…breathe! This:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/04/questions-for-men-everyday-sexism-twitter_n_6612862.html

I do like the opening line:

‘Sexism can be hard to point out when it’s so engrained in our everyday lives.’

I’m going to go ahead and assume that’s code for ‘I’m going to use this line as an excuse to point out some utterly ridonkulous shit and claim it’s somehow sexist and only applies to women.’ In all seriousness, yes sexism can be hard to point out when it’s engrained in everyday lives but the point, again, is that simply looking for sexism against women is not the way to combat engrained sexism. It’s the way to make women victims over everything else. Not very empowering.

So the point of this article is to highlight 16 of the ‘best’ examples of the latest Twitter hashtag trend – #questionsformen. This trend, again, asks men if they face the exact same kind of sexism as women. Newsflash, men probably don’t experience the exact same types, but to use that as a way of saying men experience no sexism at all is rather ridiculous. That would be like me asking a woman if she’d ever had a pain in her testicles and then saying ‘see, women don’t ever experience problems with their reproductive organs.’

In fact, both men and women do suffer the same types of sexism in some areas, and different types of sexism in other areas. It’s not a hard concept to grasp, unless you’re looking for an ideological bias to use in your article.

The trend was started (or at least the article leads) with these two questions:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/clemtine%20fords%20first%20question_zpsrrd4pdbu.png

Apparently, this is an ‘awesome’ way to highlight ‘casual sexism’. Notice how it doesn’t say ‘casual sexism towards women’ despite that being the intention in the headline. No, the suggestion is that ‘casual sexism’ is simply something only women experience. Or, at least, something only women experience to the point that it’s worth writing about.

It’s strange because the first two questions already show the weak platform this hashtag depends on.

Now, I’m not a male writer (not in any sense that matters) so I can’t really answer the first question about being an attention seeker. However, the second question is pretty damn easy to answer:

‘When you have a hostile disagreement with someone, is it common for them to say you’re angry because no-one will fuck you?’

Er…yes. All the time actually. All the damn time. In fact, that particular insult is one that is regularly thrown around by feminists. In fact, there are constant references to men ‘not getting enough tail’ as if it’s the worst thing that could happen. When I disagree with feminists I often get the ‘lonely neck-beard virgin’ insult, along with the ‘well we don’t want to sleep with you anyway’, like my worth is tied to my desirability to women. Oh, what irony.

Come to think of it…there’s also the added bonus of ‘you must have a small penis’ thrown in somewhere as well. Even when they’re trying to insult you they’re always thinking about the penis. Bitches be loving the penis!

Anyway, before the 16 ‘best’ questions are posted, we get a couple of paragraphs explaining just exactly what the hashtag is all about. Predictably, it’s something we’ve seen all too often:

‘As smart feminist hashtags often do, #QuestionsForMen quickly picked up steam. The conversations ranged from how women need to approach their careers differently than men, to worrying about the dangers of walking home too late, and the fact that the government still has some control over women’s bodies.’

It’s funny because all three of the points raised in this paragraph apply to men. Yes, men and women have to approach their careers differently, but it’s not like men just waltz into their chosen professions and then immediately progress up the ladder of success or anything. Yes, men and women should be aware of the dangers of walking home too late, especially considering, statistically, men are victims of violence more often than women. The fact these attacks are often perpetrated by men is not a valid excuse to sideline them in the greater discussion of gender equality. Yes, the government perhaps has more control over women’s’ bodies than men’s’, but when a mother can be sent to jail because she doesn’t agree to her son’s circumcision it, again, shows that it’s not like men have it all hunky dory.

The point is, this hashtag should have been a good way to say ‘hey, look at all the shit some people have to go through, let’s see if we can sort it out, yeah?’ Instead, what it does is divide people. It divides women, the very people who it claims to help, because it lumps in all those who haven’t experienced these issues and tells them they have, or at least tells everyone else they have. At the same time it sidelines issues everyone else faces, no matter the sex, gender, sexual orientation, etc and simply places women’s victimhood above that of anyone else. You should know the agenda of feminism when they lose their collective shit over the progression from #yesallwomen to #yesallpeople, because women not being the sole focus is simply not good enough.

So, onto the questions. There’s only 16 so it shouldn’t make this blog too long.

Number 1

1 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%201_zpsuwzy4f6r.png

No, not in as many words. I have, however, had my ideas dismissed because I’m young, or because they ‘simply wouldn’t work’ despite the fact they had actually been working for me previously, hence me bringing them up as ideas. I’m a teacher, not a businessman so maybe it’s different but, more than being male, it’s my age that is the barrier here. I may have been teaching for a long time, but, comparatively, I’m still a noobie. I’m still only 28 which, in the grand scheme of things, is still young enough to have the metaphorical milk of my teacher training on my top lip. The fact my youth is one of the biggest advantages I have in connecting with the people I teach is, apparently, not something worth considering.

2 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%202_zpsj3m2979y.png

Government and religion holding decision making powers? I’m not going to dwell on circumcision but the point is that circumcision is still readily furthered by many medical professionals and religious leaders. The fact that its merits are continuously discussed and debunked seems to be lost on these people. So yeah, I don’t think the government has as much control over my body as a woman but to try and politik your way into saying ‘men are free from government control’ is pretty ridiculous.

Also, let’s look at this from another angle, an apples to oranges comparison – the government has control over women’s bodies, but it also has control over men’s wallets. Child support, alimony, taxes, etc etc. Yeah, men have it really easy when they’re being financially raped (is that triggering anyone?!) for child support with the threat of prison for missed payments hanging over their heads!

3 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%203_zps685kuoxh.png

Yes. I’ve spoken about this one before, what man walks down the street at night like Steamboat Willie? Seriously, I always make sure I’m aware of my surroundings, always make sure I have some kind of plan in my head just in case something happens. Even if that plan is ‘hide in a bush and cry’ it’s still something. Being aware of your surroundings at night is a gender-free thing, trying to say ‘look how bad women have it’ in this context is absurd and dishonest.

4 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%204_zps2gvffmzw.png

Is this a general thing or just in one specific environment? Because, either way, God yes I fake a laugh when women say creepy shit! I have long hair, I wore it down to a local park recently and, as it was blowing in the wind like a goddamn Pantene advert, my mum was all ‘women would kill to have hair like yours!’ I thought she was exaggerating but then I thought back to all the times I’d been on a night out and how many entitled women have either touched it or said something really creepy to me about it. And that’s just my hair. “Ooh, if I was 10 years younger…” Yeah, and the rest, love!

Luckily, that doesn’t happen as much anymore. One reason is because I don’t go out as much as I used to but the main reason is because I’m fat. Bitches aren’t interested when you’re fat!

5 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%205_zpsokb5vuc3.png

No. is this a serious example? Because, like, what kind of place does this woman walk where there are 5 different ways of getting there. Horrendous really but, no, I can honestly say this one hasn’t happened to me. Chalk one up to the feminists. Men, if you’re making a woman feel like she has to change direction 5 times then you’re being a cunt. Stop being a cunt, no-one likes a cunt.

6 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%206_zpspnay4ab5.png

Fat and ugly? Yes, most definitely. Telling me I should get raped? No, I tend to find I get told to kill myself, or they try and shame me by claiming I’m a virgin and am bitter because I never get any sex (oops, there’s that ‘virgin’ insult being thrown round again!)

What I do tend to find is that women who actively reject feminism have the whole ‘I hope you get raped’ shit thrown at them. Often it’s from other feminists so, yeah, way to be completely oblivious to the horrible shit thrown at everyone.

7 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%207_zpscnjdazph.png

Yes, refer back to the previous comment about my hair. And that’s just a small part. Need I direct you to the blog entry I wrote about 18 months ago about a female colleague’s attitude towards me at a staff Christmas party?

Again, doesn’t happen as much anymore because I’m fat. Bitches don’t be looking for fat!

8 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%208_zpscmj0bfvy.png

No, because the assumption is that, as a man, I will be thoroughly committed to my work and place my family a distant second. Apples to oranges. Men don’t get asked that kind of question because, traditionally, they haven’t fulfilled that role.

Want to see how we view the family unit these days? Men get two weeks paternity leave here in the UK. Two weeks. That’s why we don’t get asked that question, because there simply is no juggling between family and work. The amount of time men will be off work to look after their children is negligible, nothing, barely worth worrying about. Work comes first, that’s it. End of conversation. Sexist in an entirely different way, but still sexist.

9 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%209_zpshp7geoqe.png

Yes, but probably to a lesser degree than women. Instead, I get the old ‘isn’t it about time you got yourself a girlfriend’ adage. Like my life is incomplete unless I have a woman in my life. First of all, I don’t need a woman to feel complete, second of all see previous comments about bitches and fat men!

I think the concept of women not wanting children is still seen as a strange one because, in the grand scheme of things, were are not very progressive as a society. We claim we are but, in reality, we’re probably 50-100 years out of the ‘traditional’ mindset in lots of ways. It always amazes me when people say shit like ‘I can’t believe it’s 2015 and [insert issue here] is still going on!’ Yeah, it may be 2015 but that doesn’t mean shit. Hell, Luther King Jr’s ‘I have a dream’ speech is only 50 years old, we aren’t that progressive.

Yeah, if a woman doesn’t want kids then that’s her choice but, seriously, being offended that someone says ‘you’ll probably change your mind’ and claiming it as casual sexism is a bit far-fetched.

“Why are you upset?”

“Someone threw acid in my face, now I can barely breathe.”

“Oh shit. Why are you upset?”

“Someone keeps asking me why I don’t want children!”

“……..get fucked!”

10 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%2010_zpso8rb9lgt.png

No, see aforementioned comment on family and priorities. The fact is, men are seen as workhorses first and family men second. Not all the time, obviously, but the fact that men don’t get asked that question is one part ‘we might hire this woman and then lose her shortly for a year for her to have a kid’ and one part ‘he’s a man, he’ll put his work first and that’s the end of it.’ Different situation, still sexist.

11 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%2011_zpsjmjul39p.png

Yes. Every single time. Again, is this a genuine question?

“Hi mate, just got home, cracking night, really enjoyed myself.” Seriously, how hard is that?

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Don’t have the ambition to take a leadership position. In my line of work I want to be at the coalface teaching students, I don’t want an office somewhere so, no, I’ve never been called bossy. Actually, quite the opposite, I’ve been criticised for being too quiet and not getting involved. How strange.

13 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%2013_zpswz0jpomr.png

No, but there is always a chance I’d get criticised for my not-so-perfect-appearance:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1167902/BBC-presenter-Clare-Balding-humiliates-Grand-National-winning-jockey-jibe-crooked-teeth.html

Journalists say shit things, it’s not like it’s something limited to women. Also, that interviewer had already asked a shit load of tennis questions, it’s not like he came on and went ‘Hello [insert star’s name here] give us a twirl, bitch, no-one cares about your tennis.’

So, journalists are morons. Shocker!

14 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%2014_zpsko7ho7xy.png

This is a difficult one. Technically, the law here in England states that a woman, legally, cannot rape a man. The law is written in a way that outrightly genderises it – only men can rape. Of course, there’s also the insidious notion, woven through society, that men simply do not refuse sex, which means that, even if men don’t want sex, they will often have it anyway to perceive the entitled bitch who often resorts to insults in order to shame the man into doing it. In fact, I wrote an article in this very blog where I came across the phrase ‘the mercy lay’. This is, in essence, where a man just has sex to shut his girlfriend up. Not necessarily rape in the way this question means it, but still applicable. Men simply do not refuse sex, even when they refuse it, so must just put up and shut up to appease their girlfriends. Women not taking no for an answer? How ironic.

As for the serious implications of this question – that a drunk women going home with a man is ‘fair game’ for sex…well despite the rather hyperbolic notion that the man is some animal whose single-minded intention is simply to rape and nothing else, this raises far too many questions for me to answer here. It brings up the whole ‘how drunk is too drunk’ argument which we could argue about until we’re blue in the face! A 140 character tweet designed to cause maximum outrage is not necessarily the best place to discuss it.

15 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%2015_zpsesgypoja.png

Ah, refer to aforementioned comment about ‘why don’t you have a girlfriend’. Whilst I have no doubt the constant defense needed when persistently asked why you haven’t changed your name is tiring, it is also tiring having to defend your intent not to marry at all, even as a man.

I can’t say it’s happened very often, and I definitely don’t get asked by everyone, but I do get asked questions on a regular basis that I’m pretty sick of answering.

16 http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/question%2016_zpszesghgpa.png

Seriously? This is the final tweet in the ‘best of’ list? Like, yeah, every single day. Multiple times. Along with ‘darling’, ‘sugar’, ‘sweetie’, ‘love’ and any other number of endearing little colloquialisms that people use to greet each other. Like, I can’t believe that this wasn’t laughed off the planet let alone made it into a ‘best of’ list.

Unless…possibly being said in a condescending tone? In which case yeah sure get angry about it but at least make that clear and obvious, otherwise you sound like a dunce.

Look, I’m not trying to disregard the experiences of these women, I’m not saying they didn’t experience these things or that casual sexism doesn’t exist. In fact, casual sexism is a very real and very pervasive thing. I’m not trying to say that at all. I’m just saying that these 16 questions apply to others too, whether that’s men, gays, lesbians, trans, blacks, latinos, hispanics or whatever.

This is why women are turning away from feminism, it’s the constant barrage of ‘look how much you are a victim, look how much you’re hated and oppressed and squashed and hated and despised. Look how all the men want to rape you, look how all the man want to subjugate you and control you and keep you chained up!’ Not only is that an insane level of hyperbole it completely dismisses the notion that other facets of society suffer this casual sexism.

Not only is it dismissive of other’s problems, it’s trivialising to actual, real problems that people face! When you claim it an exam of ‘casual sexism’ to be called ‘sweetheart’ by a colleague you make yourself out to be an out-of-touch simpleton who cannot consider the fact that simple niceties stem from a good place, not a desire to see you banished or a mindset that sees you as inferior.

Sexism affects everyone in some way, to constantly place this victim bubble around women at the expense of everyone else does not come across as empowering, it comes across as a bunch of whinge merchants who not only can’t see past the end of their own nose but also put their own minute problems above the very large problems of others.

Someone calls you sweetheart? Boo fucking hoo, put on your big girl pants and join the real world!

The real world, what a concept. How about you put down the Insanity Kool Aid and come join us. To quote everyone’s favourite Autobot leader: “we are here; we are waiting!”

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