Modern society’s obsession with the penis and why it’s not a good thing.

Posted: February 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

So, this is the blog post I bumped in order to publish the one about feminist (and, to a lesser extent, female) entitlement the other day. I’m unsure on this one. I think it’s a piece that genuinely has some merit, but I’m just not sure if it sounds like a whiney, incomprehensible mess or not. I’ll guess I’ll leave it up to you to decide.

Ironically, I re-started writing this one (and was hoping to publish it) on ‘End FGM Day’ or whatever it was called. Let me make it clear, even though I shouldn’t really have to, I’m completely against FGM, as I believe any rational person is. This blog isn’t trying to co-opt the issue or even deny it, it’s just coincidence that it’s being published shortly after FGM day. That’s all I’m going to say, this entry is just one perspective, it in no way is meaning to try and turn a woman’s issue into a man’s issue.

I’m also only going to briefly mention circumcision in this article. The reason being, simply, I already wrote an entire blog on male genital mutilation way back when I started this blog. Not much has changed since then so I don’t need to go into much detail here. Actually, I’ve already written a blog about my penis as well, around the same time. I’d completely forgotten about that one. If you want to read my thoughts on circumcision, that blog is here:

So, I’ll start by giving you a little background about my penis (just trust me). The average penis size of western men (for the most part) is between 5 and 6 inches. I fall very much into that category. I’m sorry if that’s too much information, but it’s kind of relevant for this blog entry. The term ‘average’ suggests that the majority of men are that size. Now, I’m not about to claim I know the averages of every country in the world, but for me, in my country, I’m average.

Unfortunately, average, in a post 2000 society, just isn’t good enough. It’s funny, because average simply means ‘the majority of men’ in this case. It’s an average because it’s the most common size range. Yet, everywhere I look, the average size just isn’t big enough. Being average or, god forbid, smaller than average is still something to laugh at, to sneer at, to use as justification for treating a guy like shit.

We haven’t moved past the shaming of average and small penises in the same way we’re starting to move past the shaming of vaginas. Hell, there’re enough feminist blogs and articles out there all trying to tell us that vaginas come in all shapes and sizes, fatter, thinner, tighter, looser, etc but it’s hard to find anything about penises. Whilst I’m not saying that we have completely moved past this phase of sexual shaming, after all ‘I bet it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway, is still used as a way of implying a woman is a slut, there is definitely enough being done by feminists to halt this opinion and to affect some kind of change.

A man, unfortunately, is still judged by his penis. It’s funny because, for all feminism is doing to try and help women (no matter how misguided or batshit insane) it, once again, proves that it truly doesn’t give a flying fuckeroo about men because, surprise surprise, feminists themselves continue to use the penis as a way of shaming men. The blog I wrote at Christmas, on Love Actually, featured an article that contained a simple, throwaway comment about Hugh Grant’s character having a small penis as a way of trying to discredit him or, at the very least, show that ‘yeah he might be the prime minister but he’s still got a small penis, arf arf.’ An article written by a feminist and published on Jezebel, mind you.

Numerous films, Tv shows, music videos all still follow the rule that a man with a big penis is worthy of respect, lust, value, thanks, etc while a man with a small penis is, pretty much guaranteed, to be presented as some sort of comic value product or, in some cases, utterly laughable as a man.

The first person who ever blocked me on Facebook was a woman who wrote a rather daft status about the oppression of women. It went something like this: “men who oppress women do so because they’re compensating for their small penises.” I kindly told her to fuck off and she blocked me. A classy lady.

A quick look at google shows us just what we think of the small penis:

A similar search for small boobs?

Now, again, I’m not saying that women don’t get shamed for their bodies, or that a large penis is a deal breaker for everyone (man or woman), I’m just saying that there’s a much bigger sense of appreciation for small boobs than a small penis. Plus, as mentioned, there’s a very prominent movement that is all for letting women be proud of their bodies, no matter their size, yet they seem very quiet on this issue.

In fact, when I see feminists bring up small penises it’s usually as some sort of shaming tactic. To be fair, other men are just as bad at penis shaming but, once again, I focus on feminists because they’re the ones going ‘oh, but feminism is for men, too!” It isn’t, at all.

Anyway, that’s just one facet of it, what I really want to talk about is this:

It’s an article about ‘Small Penis Syndrome’ and how you can just tell what kind of guys have small penises by these simple indicators. Not only is it simply a cover to shame men and their bodies, it’s also really harsh to those of us who don’t embodying the douchey characteristics that are listed within.

My penis size does not equate me with these morons, to insinuate otherwise is a rather generalised, not to mention hypocritical, way of looking at things. Can you imagine if I wrote an article saying ‘you can just tell a girl’s a slag if she’s got big boobs’? I don’t think I’d leave with my life.

I have to be honest, I’m not sure this article is meant to be taken 100% seriously, there’s a lot in it that even I, with my chronic inability to tell satire and serious apart, find hard to believe was written by someone without a massive grin on their face. But that’s not the point, the point is that it exists and, for the most part, is a fairly accurate account of what we think of men with small or average penises.

You see, that list of 8 things is simply a list of cuntish things that men do. I’m not going to disagree with it because, on that side of things, it’s true. There are lots of men in the world that are utter morons, who think that their place in life is worth more than mine, or that they are simply a better human being for any number of superficial reasons. That is not even worth trying to argue against. I’ve seen enough moronic Neanderthals in my time to know that men are not perfect.

However, to correlate cuntish behaviour with the same of a man’s penis is not only utterly moronic it’s also just another way of shaming a man’s body. In amongst all the ‘body positivity’ from feminists they are completely forgetting that men, too, have body image problems. In fact, from my experience, feminists are some of the worst when it comes to body shaming men. Of course, some of them are horrified but when an article on Jezebel makes a throwaway reference to a man having a small penis as a way of discrediting him and no-one in the comments calls them out on it then it’s pretty clear that male bodies are not high on their priorities.

You see, for some reason modern society seems to be obsessed with penises, and not in a good way. As the main tool of the patriarchal oppressor the penis is the one thing that men have that allows, and has allowed for centuries, them to oppress women. It’s utter bollocks of course, my penis has no special powers at all, definitely none that would aid me in subjugating an entire gender.

See, that article above is just one way that penises have become such a cultural phenomenon. It’s one thing to equate a man’s worth with his penis size, it’s another to try and remove the appendage altogether. Unfortunately, that seems to be something that is on the rise.

I can count on one hand the amount of stories I’ve seen where a man has attempted to remove a woman’s breasts or attempted to mutilate her genital for ‘revenge’: none. Yet, it seems to be an accepted and, to some disgusting extent, applauded thing to cut off a man’s penis when he’s done something wrong. And that’s all it is, it’s when a man has done something wrong. Apparently, when a man does something that angers another person it justifies the removal of the penis as a way of ‘teaching’ the man a lesson; namely to not do something to annoy a woman.

I’m not talking about those men who have their penises cut off by those they’ve sexually assaulted or raped (although, even then, it’s still a barbaric thing to do), I’m talking about women who are so over-emotional that they feel it’s absolutely acceptable to perform such an act when they’ve been ‘wronged’.

The annoying, and sad, thing is that, far from being universally condemned, the removal of the penis in these revenge attacks is still seen as something to laugh at, something to joke about, something that we are glad has not happened to us because it’s a very real possibility.

What are some of the reasons for these man having their penises removed by vengeful wives? Well, mainly it’s for cheating. I know there are other examples, but cheating seems to be the most common.

It seems to be more popular in Asian countries for some reason. Point is, it’s still seen as something laughable and justified. When stories like this break on Western media sites there is often a sense of ‘I shouldn’t laugh but it’s still funny’ amongst the commenters.

Thankfully, there are still a number of people, men and women, who see it as the deplorable act that it is. But, it’s just not seen as enough of a problem to take seriously. It’s still brushed off and swept aside.

When Ray Rice knocked his fiancé unconscious in an elevator feminists would not stop until they had him fired from his team and banned from football. When men have their penises amputated by vengeful wives (wives who, by the way, do nothing to quash the stereotype of women being over-emotional) the feminists are nowhere to be seen. We don’t have articles roundly condemning the attacks, we don’t have the same kind of orchestrated mass-media appeals and protests that we saw against Ray Rice, we don’t have the same enthusiasm for tackling the problem.

This Wikipedia article details some (though I’m sure not all) instances of women removing their husband/boyfriend’s penis. Aside from the cases where it would appear that the men had abused the women, most of them are simply for cheating:

Now, I’m not one to condone cheating, it’s a pretty scummy thing to do. But to remove a man’s penis because of it? Doesn’t seem like the trademark of a society that wants to be truly equal.

But John, you may say, 90% of those happened in china, maybe it’s a cultural thing? Well, aside from the fact that the argument of ‘he deserved it’ is as ridiculous and counter-productive as ‘what was she wearing’, it’s not just china where this thing is seen as acceptable.

This is perhaps one of the worst cases of the entire dismissal of men that I’ve seen. I still refuse to watch anything that Sharon Osbourne does (not that I did anyway).

That was American daytime Television. Again, does that look like the trademark of a society that wants equality? A panel full of women, an audience full of women (one of whom actually comments ‘serves him right’) laughing and joking about a man having his penis severed. His crime? Wanting a divorce. Yeah, truly enlightened.

There is one woman, one measly woman, in that clip who tries to show just how hypocritical it is for these women to be laughing about the mutilation of men. One woman. One solitary woman amongst a crowd of women in that room. What happens after she brings up her concerns? Yep, Sharon Osbourne decides to make another joke.

The response? They made an ‘apology’ on the following programme, which is about as insincere as you can get:

Well, you’d think Sharon Osbourne would never appear on TV again after that, wouldn’t you? I mean, if Richard Keys and Andy Gray can lose their jobs for making sexist comments about women off-air then surely Osbourne’s TV career is over?

Well, nope. She’s now on a TV advert on UK advertising a money-comparison website:

So yeah, laughing at the mutilation of men does not harm your career one iota, making fun of women means career death. So unsurprising but massively frustrating.

The removal of the penis is not only seen as something inherently justifiable but is now being used as an excuse for women to get what they want:

I mean, of course that is just one example, but the fact is that it is something that women have at their disposal, it is something that has entered public thought. What kind of woman threatens her boyfriend that way simply because she wants to go to a nice restaurant? What does that say about the level of respect in that relationship? How is it any different from a man saying ‘if you don’t let me watch the game, I’m going to punch you in the face!’?

For those who don’t get the reference, Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis in the early 90s and became something of a feminist hero. She went to court but got off without going to prison, mainly because it was revealed that her husband, John Bobbitt, was violent and abusive. Still, the term and the act have entered public lexicon as a way of women getting back at their male partners for some transgression, no matter how minor.

Since the penis is seen as the main ‘tool’ of patriarchy’s oppression it seems to come as no surprise that it would be the first part of the body to start hacking at when trying to get back at your husband. But penis shaming stretches to so much more than just penis removal.

Body image is a huge thing at the moment amongst feminists, and women in general. Whilst I’m not going to sit here and try and claim that it’s a bad thing that we’re promoting body positivity amongst women, I do find it difficult to digest the idea that the bodies of men and women are not seen in the same light in terms of self-promotion.

It’s galling when I sit and read articles that suggest it’s ok for me to lose a part of my body because a woman thinks I’ve done something upsetting, whilst at the same time being told that no-one, ever, should be able to comment on what women do with their bodies.

Sports Illustrated are in the news recently for promoting a plus sized model in one of their upcoming issues:

Some progress at last. But do larger sized male bodies get the same kind of attention? If this advert is anything to go by, then no:

Seems pretty clear to me, plus sized women are celebrated; plus sized men are ridiculed.

Violence against women is deplorable; violence towards the male penis is comic gold:

A man criticising a woman’s body on television is frowned upon; an actress shaming small penises is accepted:

I’m not trying to sound like a whiney dudebro. All I’m trying to do is show that, as a man, yeah I have problems accepting parts of my body.

One of the most infuriating things about modern society is the constant streams of contradictory messages I seem to hear. I’m told that I should be more open, more emotional, more sensitive about things, be able to appear vulnerable and not some macho, hypermasculine stereotype, but then, when I do open up, I’m told that I’m a whiner, that I’m trying to take the focus away from women, that I’m probably not getting laid enough because of my small penis. Then when I try and talk about these mixed messages with people I get told to stop whining, to man up and just get on with life.

That whole paragraph sounds like a bit of a whinge but it’s genuinely how I feel. It’s a bit sad that pretty much throughout this entire piece I’d toyed with the idea of publishing it or not. Am I being just a whiney little bitch? Is this something I should be able to just ignore? Is this even a genuine issue? Is it just a contradictory mess of incoherent rambling?

Even if it is a mess of incoherence it still needs to be published. Not because I think I can change the world or anything, simply because if I don’t put my real thoughts and feelings out there then who the hell is ever going to know how I feel? If every man follows that train of thought then who is going to be the first one to break the silence? Who is going to be the one that starts the movement that forces a change in the way we see penises? Feminists have female body positivity covered when it comes to women, but from what I’ve seen their body positivity when it comes to men amounts to nothing more than ‘it happens to men, too. Now on to the next subject.’

Remember that article a couple of months ago about Disney Princes and their dicks?

Guess who had the smallest penis? Yep, the biggest douche of the lot; Gaston. The others all have an array of different sized dicks but the justification for Gaston having a ‘very tiny’ penis is incredibly simple: he’s a jerk.

So, tongue-in-cheek humour or not, a feminist website thinks that all the justification you need for giving someone a small dick is that they’re a moron. It’s hardly showing that they give a shit about male insecurities, despite their claims otherwise.

It’s rather ironic, and not a bit hypocritical, that they defend this with ‘it’s only a bit of fun’ but then get all bitchy over shit like anime and their hyper-inflated boobies.

Modern society is obsessed with the penis, unfortunately its obsession often boils down to shaming tactics and humiliation. Feminists don’t care about male body issues any more than they care about men in general. They’re too busy getting pissed off because a few men bumped into them on the street. You know, those burning social affairs that just need to be addressed!

Does this blog come off as a rather whiney ramble that doesn’t really have a point? Maybe, but I’ll leave you to decide that.

This blog has a fair few followers and seems to get a few readers each week so I’m going to stand proud and admit it:

I have an average penis. I’m not ashamed of it, I quite like it in a way, and I don’t think I should be judged by it. Simple.

  1. David A. Evans says:

    Not in the least bit whiny but I’m a man and understand so of course I would say that.
    Small typo…
    However, to correlate cuntish behaviour with the same of a man’s penis
    Perhaps you meant size.

  2. Maria says:

    Hi, I truly think that you bring up a much needed issue on our society that is extremely difficult to get across to people without being harshly judged. I truly appreciate your courage in bringing this issue up and publishing this blog. Please keep writing!

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