Archive for June, 2014

Do I dare write another bloody blog about rape culture? I think I have to, it’s not necessarily a case of ‘I fucking love talking about rape’ it’s more a case of ‘are these people fucking serious?!’ I’ve written enough blogs on rape culture that I feel like I should be repeating myself, I feel like I shouldn’t have anything left to say. Unfortunately, that is just not the case. It seems new and even more ludicrous examples of rape culture are being dreamt up every single day. I thought we’d reached the Zenith with Blurred Lines being universally declared ‘rapey’ by a bunch of self serving harpies, but  no, the days when Blurred Lines were considered the worst of rape culture are long gone, and I kind of feel a certain pang of nostalgia for them.

There are a few things that have cropped up recently that have covered rape culture in a big way. Obviously the #yesallwomen hashtag is still fighting strong, there was the furore caused by Miss USA’s “let’s teach women how to defend themselves” speech which was pounced on by feminists because, apparently, women being safe is totally the opposite of what they’re fighting for, there was the emergence of the new hashtag #notjusthello, and then there was this piece of absolute idiocy:

I mean, I was never going to see this film anyway as, generally, anything Disney related recently seems to have such a current of anti-male attitudes I can’t summon the courage watch them. However, I don’t need to have seen the film to see through this quite ludicrous article.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – rape is a horrible crime. It absolutely leaves a lasting effect, it can ruin lives, it can leave people a shell of their former selves, it leaves them broken, alone, suffering and battling just to regain some sort of normality. I’ve never been raped but as a socially awkward, somewhat introverted, man I’ve been through enough uncomfortable experiences to know that if I multiplied them by 100 I would perhaps be somewhere near the amount of pain a rape victim goes through. Not that I’m discounting victims of other crimes, but this blog entry isn’t about other crimes, it’s about rape.

I’ll get into the article in a minute but first I want to talk about why I constantly feel the need to talk about rape culture. I’ve addressed it before, the idea that we live in a culture that normalises and condones rape is so fucking ludicrous it shouldn’t even be given any attention whatsoever. There are numerous stories of men (because it is men) being beaten to a pulp on false accusations, there are stories of women being arrested multiple times for false rape charges and facing no punishment (though there are a couple of cases recently that seem to be changing that trend) and the simple fact that whenever the subject of rape is bought up we immediately use the gendered pronouns ‘he’ as if we just somehow know that only men rape.

Why? Why do we think we live in this ‘culture’ when the evidence suggests that we absolute don’t? Well, do I really need to say the answer? Who is it that constantly harps on about college rape statistics, despite numerous articles proving it wrong, who is it that constantly talks about rape, who is it that talks about objectification and entitlement, who is it that constantly warns women ‘don’t go out at night, the bogeyman will get you!’? It’s feminism. Feminism creates a culture of fear, it strangles women by telling them that rape is around every corner, that rape is at every party, every public event, every time they go shopping, every man they meet, every single time they leave their house they are in imminent danger of being raped.

Kristal Garcia mentioned this in a Google Hangout I did recently – Feminists are basically just Disney princesses, except instead of waiting for their Prince Charming they are waiting for their rapist, waiting for the act that they claim to hate, they claim to despise, yet can’t seem to stop going on about.

Jon Richardson, in his DVD Funny Magnet, told a story about living in London that absolutely makes sense if applied to rape. When watching this clip, every time he says ‘mugged’ replace it with the word ‘rape’:

What he says is absolutely right. We are constantly told that ‘1 in 5 women will be raped/sexually assaulted’ and yet the actual statistics released by Police forces in the UK prove that the real statistic is nowhere near that number, even with the ‘90% of rape victims don’t report their rapes’ theory taken into account. Feminists’ constantly harping on about rape, with the false statistics there as helpful ‘evidence’, is doing nothing to actually prevent rape, instead it fosters a culture of fear where women become suspicious of everything and everyone, especially men, whenever they leave the house. For a movement that is supposed to be about empowering women they sure do a good job of reminding them just how much of a victim they are.

I hate the notion of rape culture. It doesn’t exist. Yes, some men rape, some men are arseholes and don’t know what consent is, some men trivialise rape and use the ‘what was she wearing’ speech as a way of justifying it. But, news flash, that is not all men. And, another news flash, women are just as bad, both at committing the crime and trivialising it. Yes, awful things like Stubenville happen, people like Jimmy Saville somehow got away with horrific crimes for years, but that is not all men, it is not all people and it certainly doesn’t warrant the culture of fear and suspicion that feminism currently can’t help but stir.

My theory is simple, feminists love rape. They do. They don’t like the act itself, they think it’s deplorable, which is something I agree with, but they love the fact it happens. What better way to keep themselves in the public eye than to say ‘look at this example and this example and this example and this example of rape culture’. It’s got to the point that people don’t even have to do any reading, they just accept what is being said, they accept it because they’ve been fed this bullshit for so long they don’t know any different. Why should they? These are supposedly respectable women telling them that rape is bad. Who would lie about a crime like that? Not feminists, surely? Especially when they’re the ones who claim to hate it so much?

Third newsflash, feminist lie. They have been doing for years, and rape is number 1 on the agenda. IT keeps them in business, it allows them to influence laws, it allows them to play victim, it allows them a platform to promote their anti-male, anti-female rhetoric, it allows them to manipulate the putty of modern society to their way of thinking, it allows them to mold and reshape and, if something’s not working, to roll it into a ball and re-mold and re-shape.

Anyway, what’s that got to do with this article? Well, I’ll just give you the first 2 paragraphs to start:

Imagine you’re drugged by someone you thought you trusted. You wake up in the morning with your face down in the dirt. You’re aching. Your appearance has changed and you can feel that you’re different as you try to stand through the pain. Beyond the physicality of it, your power was stolen from you. Your flight response. Your dignity.

You’re confused. Enraged. Devastated. Angry. You set everyone on fire around you. You wish hatred on newborn babies. You want to hide in an evil shell of darknesss where everything is black and no one can touch you. Or ever hurt you. They talk about walls on reality TV shows. Oh, you build walls — they’re walls of thorns with armed towering guards that will crush any man who tries to approach it.

Sounds like a pretty horrific ordeal. Could also sound like someone waking up with the worst hangover they’ve ever experienced. I don’t drink, I haven’t for a long time, but I know what a hangover is and how bad they feel. While the above does seem like a rather unsavoury thing, my first thought is not the same as Hayley Krischer’s:

And though it sounds like a rape victim’s story — it’s not. It’s the storyline of Maleficent.

It sounds like a rape story if that’s the way you choose to interpret it. To me, it could be the story of a hangover, or it could even be the story of someone who was mugged and beaten, minus the bit about being drugged. It could even be the story of an operation. I’ve experienced enough operations, or at least medical procedures involving anesthetic, in my time that I know the disoriented feeling you experience upon waking.

This next sentence is, I think, perhaps the most damning in this entire article:

Rape has so permeated our culture that it ended up in a Disney movie.

There are two things to consider when looking at what this actually means. Is this really about rape? Who is responsible for rape ‘permeating’ our culture?

  1. Not having seen the film I can’t comment without any great deal of accuracy but, to me, no this is not about rape at all. At all. It’s about some twat who did something horrible to some woman and she got all pissy afterwards and decided to take her shit out on loads of other people. Far from being a feminist paradise it’s a tale about a woman being too emotionally weak to cope with the actions of one man, instead going full on ‘drama queen’ and blaming everyone. How empowered.
  2. Who is responsible? Do I have to say feminists again? Yes, rape happens, but which group is the one going out there and constantly telling women that they are simply waiting to be victims?

In a wider discussion of rape not only does the feminist movement belittle women, infantilise women, bestow the coveted title of victim on women, it demonises men, all men, with the tag of potential rapist. I’ve had it happen to me, a conversation of Twitter with a feminist where she said every man was a possible rapist. Yes, in the same way every single person on the planet is potentially a drug addict. It’s a ludicrous way of thinking.

Rape has not permeated our culture so much it has wound up in a Disney movie, rape has simply permeated your mindset so much that you see rape in everything that concerns some form of violence. It’s damning because it highlights exactly why the feminist movement is so ludicrous – find rape in every single thing does nothing for the credibility of your movement, it simply paints you out to be morons who search for every opportunity to play the victim.

There’s some more waffle, then there’s this:

But he doesn’t kill her. He rapes her of her ability to fly. He drugs her and leaves her so that he can bring her wings back to the king of the humans like Dorothy was told to fetch the broom of the Wicked Witch. She wakes up moaning, wailing. Stumbling. Utter devastation.

This is how much rape has permeated our culture. Now the act of rape itself isn’t enough to highlight rape culture, instead we have to venture into the world of allegory and metaphor. No, the ‘rape’ scene in Maleficent isn’t about actual rape, it isn’t about a human who loved a fairy drugging her and having sex without her consent, it’s about him taking something that belonged to her.

Now, there is a point in there somewhere. If you want to argue semantics then there are other definitions of rape other than non consensual sex:


an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.


Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.


But have you ever heard feminists use definition 3 and 4 when talking about rape culture? No, I haven’t either. Rape culture is picking and choosing which definition to apply so that it suits your argument. Also, notice the word ‘archaic’ next to definition 5. Archaic means old, out of date, not relevant anymore. Basically, feminists are using an outdated definition of a word in order to further their fascination with rape. They literally find and use any definition that will help their cause.

So, this man hasn’t raped her, he’s taken something that belongs to her, he’s ‘raped her of her ability to fly’ and in order to justify this claim an old, out of date, definition of rape is used. How fitting and how completely unsurprising.

This is perhaps my favourite bit:

My 5-year-old digested the scene as an act of betrayal. She flat-lined the reasoning for Maleficent’s rage: “He cut off her wings.” Maleficent was wounded. But she survived. More, she recovered — physically and psychologically.

That wonderful moment when you realise a 5-year-old girl is more intelligent than a grown woman! It’s beautiful!

Then that grown woman tries to include other grown women in her ridiculous fantasy:

Grown women know better. I know better.

‘Grown women know better’ – yeah, if they’re fucking idiots. The rest of the paragraph goes on to highlight 3 incidences that are pretty terrible. One story is about 2 girls who killed themselves after their rapes were published online, one is (no surprise) about Stubenville and the third is about a drunken sexual assault. Isn’t is weird (not really) how all the women are victims?! No mention of male victims of rape who have been ignored, no mention of all those female teachers who have escaped punishment for raping young boys, no condemnation of Barbara Ellen who justifies the rape of young boys by female teachers by saying it’s a ‘far greyer moral area’ or some other bullshit. Nope, rape culture is only when men are perpetrators and women are victims. No mention of the high school boy who committed suicide after being labeled a sex offender for streaking at a high school football game. Does he not deserve a mention in this fucking idiotic ‘culture’?

The rest of the paragraph contains this:

There is so much rape that when you write a story about a woman at her most vulnerable point (is drugged in the dirt enough for you?), rape becomes the symbol. Even if that’s not the writer’s intention.

If there was ever a sentence or two that aptly described why I think rape culture is bullshit then this is it. She outright admits that she will twist whatever message the author was intending and make it about rape instead, then uses the excuse that there is ‘so much rape’ in the world as a justification. This story is about a vulnerable woman, that much is true, but to say ‘that means this is symbolic of rape’ and we ‘have’ to talk about it is so far beyond anything that is reasonable it shouldn’t have been published on a website as popular as The Huffington Post.

There are so many other symbols, allegories and metaphors that can be applied to this particular story that it could have opened a pretty interesting discourse. It’s about losing trust, losing faith, recovering from betrayal, recovering from a life changing act,  feelings of loneliness and isolation, rebuilding yourself, it could be cancer, it could be amputation, it could be absolutely anything, anything to do with loss or pain or grief or feelings of revenge and retribution. It speaks a lot about the nature of rape culture when a woman will willingly find the act of rape in a situation that could be a metaphor for any number of things and then claim it proves we live in that culture.

No, it proves that you are so desperate to find rape in anything that you look for it in a Disney movie, a film that even your 5 year old daughter seems to understand better.

Is there an allegory for rape in the storyline of the film Maleficent? Sure, why not. Is it the only allegory? No. Does it prove a certain culture exists? No. If it was the only reading you could take away from the film then you might just be on a more secure footing, but the fact that you can apply a lot of allegorical meaning to this film suggests that it’s only indicative of a culture that you apply to it. If the author’s intentions were not to write an allegory for rape culture than your interpretation is simple that – your interpretation. But then, it’s typical of feminism to claim to speak for the majority when that is simply not the case.

I’m not going to highlight every other piece of this article because it follows the same train of thought – rape is prevalent and it’s horrific that it found its way into a Disney movie.

She ends with this:

But Maleficent is a commentary on current male and female relationships. It’s a commentary on rape culture. And much more, it’s a story that allows a woman to recover. It gives her agency. It gives her power. It allows her to reclaim the story. And this is something that can’t be ignored.

Another ‘let me speak for everyone’ piece of drivel. No, it is not a commentary on male and female relationships. That is simply your interpretation. It’s not a commentary on rape culture, anymore than it’s a commentary on overcoming betrayal. Yes, it’s a story that allows a woman to recover, yes it does all the things you claim it does, but that’s because she’s had her wings cut off, not because she was raped. It’s as simple as that. A 5 year old girl, the target audience, understands that, the writer herself understands that, yet you want to apply a meaning that doesn’t exists, simply so that it fits your victim narrative on rape culture and how everything is about victimisation and empowerment!

Let’s take the thinking from this film and apply it to others just to show how ridiculous it is to see rape in every film.

300 – Leonidas sends Dilios home with a message for his queen. He ‘rapes’ him of his power to fight Xerxe’s army.

Gladiator – before their final fight, Commodus stabs Maximus with a knife. He ‘rapes’ him of his power before fighting him.

Liar Liar – Fletcher Reed’s son makes a wish that his dad can’t lie for 24 hours. Reed’s career is built on him lying, so his son ‘rapes’ him of the ability to perform his job.

Ridiculous isn’t it? That’s what feminism does, it takes a concept and applies it to anything it can think of in order to further its own victim status. It creates a self perpetuating circle of rape that it can present whenever necessary.

‘Look at these rape statistics. Never mind that they’re false, never mind that we’re being dishonest, never mind that these statistics will demonise men, just look at how bad they look. Are you suitably scared yet? Good, now let us tell you that any time you might have got drunk and kissed a man that’s probably rape too. Yeah, you didn’t know what you were doing on account of the drink. We think you’re more than capable, intelligent young adults, so let us tell you that you definitely were raped, you didn’t want it, you didn’t ask for it, you didn’t deserve it. Even more scared yet? Ok, well how about if we tell you that walking home at night means you’ll probably get raped to. Yep, you’ll get raped if you’re outside at night. In fact, you might get raped during the day, too. Actually, you might get burgled and raped at home. Do you want to stop that happening? Good, then join Feminism! We’re here to tell you exactly when you were raped, but don’t ever forget you’re a strong, capable woman.’

Yeah, it’s an over-exaggeration, but not by much. Want to know why I think feminists love rape culture so much? It gives them control, it gives them power. It gives them the power that they crave – the power to make women hate men, to fear men, to treat men with caution and suspicion and distrust. Why? Because they want to rule the world and it’s easier to recruit people if you tell them who their enemy is. The best way to tell them who the enemy is is to constantly tell them about an evil group of bastards who will subjugate you to nothing but fear and violence all your life.

But here’s the thing, rape culture is just as demeaning to women as it is to men. Not only is it demonising to men, telling them that they are just as responsible for rape as the miniscule percentage of men that commit it, but it infantilises women, it reduces their existence to nothing but potential victims, it tells them that the situation is out of their hands. It tries to imply the only power women have is through feminism. When a movement actively discourages women from learning how to defend themselves it simply suggests they don’t want women to be able to defend themselves. It suggests that, when the time comes, they want women to be the victims, they want women to be so immersed in the circle of fear that they feel they have no option but to follow the movement that will ‘save’ them.

Telling women not to learn self defense is not the trademark of a movement for ‘empowerment’, it is the sign of a movement that wants nothing more than as many women as possible to be victims so it can further it’s malicious campaign. Feminism doesn’t want women to be empowered, not unless ‘empowered’ means ‘so weak you have no choice but to let us tell you how to live your life.’

Maleficent is not an example of rape culture. It can be twisted and manipulated to fit a certain metaphorical, symbolic or allegorical agenda, but so can a lot of crimes. To claim that the ‘rape scene’ is one that ‘needs’ to be talked about is a dishonest portrayal of an ambiguous scene as something that is definite and absolute. If the article was ‘the scene in Maleficent could be construed as a survivor’s story’ then I’d have no problem but, as usual, feminism isn’t about multiple and various interpretations, it’s about the one thing that they can use to make them out to be the biggest victims.

Rape culture is not the condoning and trivialising of the act of rape, rape culture is where feminism applies rape to every single thing they can think of in order to try and play the victim card. It is where they demean women’s intelligence by supposing to tell them what they should and should not be fearing, how they should and shouldn’t behave, that taking self defense classes (which actually is empowering) is somehow not a good idea. It is a culture where they keep women scared. That, to me, is insulting to women.

We do not live in a rape culture. When you see an article expressing concern that an allegory of rape appears in a Disney film yet you don’t see an article condemning people like Barbara Ellen for writing about ‘grey moral areas’ in rape cases and people like Amy Schumer for raping drunk guys that should be evident enough.

Rape culture is not the condoning and trivialising of the act of rape, it is the ignoring of male rape victims in order to find, by any means necessary, allegories and metaphors in Disney films that fit your feminist bullshit rhetoric.


There’s a word/concept that I see being thrown around every so often; thin privilege. Or, if not ‘thin privilege’ the ‘fat shaming’. It’s a curious concept and links in with the idea of ‘privilege’ as a whole. I’ve already done a blog on the concept of privilege, so hopefully won’t be re-treading old ground by going over this but, from what I assume, being thin automatically equals ‘privilege’.

I think it’s worth noting I’ve just ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut before writing this article. Irony abounds. I fucking love pizza!

I wasn’t going to write this blog, it’s not high up on my ‘to-do’ list of subjects I’d like to talk about, but within about ten minutes of typing ‘thin privilege’ into Google I couldn’t not write it. Some of the stuff I found during my research was so brilliant that loads and loads of previous experiences, both personal and not, came swimming into my brain and to not write them down would be a waste of a good topic.

Let’s get the word ‘privilege’ out the way first. I’ve already written about how I think the whole concept of ‘privilege’ is not as clear cut as it is presented. We are told that men are privilege, particularly white men, while women are not. I believe that to be untrue. The fact that women generally receive prison sentences that are about 30% lighter than men for the same crime is an example of female privilege. Privilege is not something that can be applied to entire demographic. Yes, it could be said that white men perhaps have an easier time when it comes to being subject to racist abuse, but I could also suggest that ‘black man privilege’ is the automatic assumption that black men have large cocks. Yes, it’s a crass and unnecessary comparison, but that’s the entire point. I, as a white man, have yet to feel any kind of benefit from my supposed inherent white male privilege.

Being thin is not to be inherently privileged; it is just one possible type in a long list of possible types of privilege. Do thin people get treated differently just for being thin? Is there a natural assumption that thin people are fit and healthy, while fat people are inherently lazy and unhealthy? It depends who you talk to. I’m not trying to say ‘get over yourselves fat people’, I understand what it’s like to be overweight and to feel like you’re being judged. I’m simply saying that thin people are not always healthy, and fat people aren’t always unhealthy.

However, that’s not me excusing poor lifestyles and diets as a reason to be overweight, just that I know there are certain conditions that are difficult to live with. Overactive thyroids for example. I also went to University with a woman who had celiac disease and she said it made it difficult for her to lose weight. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know, but the point is that there are certain instances where losing weight is difficult.

Perhaps before proceeding with the main bulk of this article I should give a little bit of background, lest you think I’m just another privileged person trying to ‘fatsplain’ how it is to be a ‘person of size’ (yes, that term seriously exists!)

I’m 27 years old. I have battled a lot with my weight since I was 15. Not nearly as badly as some people have, but my weight has fluctuated massively over the last 12 years. I’ve been thin(ner), I’ve been fat(ter). Currently I’m carrying too much weight. I haven’t trained or done any regular exercise since I started my new job in September 2013. Before that I’d had a solid period of 2 and a half years where I was on it pretty much every day. When I was 16 I was playing rugby twice a week, training twice a week and going to the gym whenever I wasn’t involved with rugby. I stopped playing rugby when I was 19 and gained a lot of weight. Between the ages of 19 and 27 my weight went up and down on a regular basis.

Why am I telling you this? One reason is because I don’t want people to think I don’t know what I’m talking about. The other reason is because I currently feel horrible about myself. I feel disappointed that I’ve let 2 years of work go to waste, I’m disappointed that I have to start almost at square one again and I’m sick of hiding myself away when I go outside because I’m ashamed of my body.

Yes, I’m ashamed of my body at the moment. Thing is, I don’t blame anyone else. It’s my fault I’m the weight I’m at. It’s my fault I’m unhappy, it’s my fault I stopped going to the gym. It’s nobody elses fault at all. To blame them for my feelings of discomfort and shame is to move the responsibility from me and onto them. By blaming other people for ‘fat-shaming’ or putting the strange looks, the sniggers, the disapproving glances down to ‘thin privilege’ only serves to blind me to the one true cause of my weight problems: me.

So where’s this all come from? Why have I decided to write a blog entry out of the blue on fat shaming and thin privilege? Well, it’s because of moronic shit like this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

and this:


There’s a whole other blog just waiting to be written on what the concept of ‘normal’ actually means, but the main thing I take away from all of the above links is the overinflated sense of victimhood. Yes, it’s horrible when you’re fat to have those looks from thin people. It’s horrible that people make assumptions about your lifestyle, it’s horrible that people make snap judgements about the exercise, or lack thereof, that you undertake.

But, do you know what? People are cunts. They really are.  By letting those comments affect you all you do is hand power to the people saying them. By being affected by people making crass and rude comments you’re proving that, somewhere deep inside, you crave acceptance. Acceptance that you aren’t getting. This is why I don’t really have a problem with offensive jokes. Words only hold as much power as we give them. By letting jokes, or insults, affect us we are giving those words the power that the speaker wants us to give them. In the same way, being fat is something you either like or dislike. IF you genuinely don’t give a shit then insults won’t bother you, if you’re genuinely happy then you don’t give the words the power that allows them to hurt you. Trust me, I’ve been on both sides of this argument.

Perhaps, and this is a long shot, the ‘triggering’ you feel when someone gives a disapproving glance, or a mean comment, or a sly dig is simply because you agree with what they’re saying. Somewhere, deep down inside, you feel ashamed, you feel disappointed, you feel like a lesser person, and there’s some desire to change. By putting up the barrier of ‘being triggered’ you are allowing yourself to become victimised, you are giving those words the power to hurt you, which is exactly what the speaker of those words meant.

I get called out a lot for being ginger. I always have, whether it was morons at school who thought it was funny, or whether it’s my dad and his gentle ribbing, it’s always been part of my life. If I wanted to, I could let it affect me. I don’t for one simple reason: it’s true. Unfortunately, genetics played its part in my development and decided to give me ginger hair. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about it (save dying my hair, which is ridiculous considering I have ginger eyebrows too) so to allow words to affect me becomes a pointless exercise, only resulting in a sense of entrenched victimhood.

“Oi, ginger pubes!” Well, you have brown hair and, I assume, brown pubes, why does it seem like such an unworldly concept that my pubes would be the same colour as my hair? My arm hair is ginger too. And my leg hair. Hell, if you’re that bothered I’ll friggin’ show them to you, it’s really not a problem.

All pube issues aside, there is, in my opinion, a sense of victimhood on some of the above examples of ‘thin privilege’. There’s also some pretty dangerous ways of thinking. Not dangerous in that they could hurt other people, dangerous in that they will hurt the people speaking them.

I don’t want to focus on every single one of the 22 ‘thin privilege’ points in the above article, but I do want to focus on a couple of them (the numbers below do not correspond to the numbers in the article). I also want to talk about the concept of feminism and how that plays its part:

  1. You’re not assumed to be unhealthy just because of your size.

I’m positive that in some cases this is 100% true. However, talking from personal experience I know that’s not always the case. As I’ve mentioned I used to play rugby. I’m never been skinny, I’ve always carried extra weight, but I used to be extremely fit. So fit that, one time, an ex-footballer joined our school rugby team because we were short on numbers. After one half of rugby he was, as the phrase goes, ‘blowing out his arse’. For anyone who hasn’t encountered that expression before, it means knackered. I remember him turning to me at half time (him being a skinny footballer, me being a chubby rugby player) and saying “thank God it’s half time, I don’t know how you do it!” The assumption that I shouldn’t be able to last 40 minutes of rugby due to my size is, I think, entirely plausible. I’m sorry, but generally speaking, overweight people aren’t healthy. Sure, there are some exceptions, but I’ve seen enough fat people blowing out their arse after walking up a set of stairs to know that their lifestyles aren’t beneficial.

On the flipside, there have been numerous times when my family and I have been watching professional rugby and mocked players due to their small size. Not in any derogatory way, but there’s a lot of “he needs to go and eat a hamburger” and “I hope he doesn’t get tackled by a fat lad, he’ll get broken in half.” Point is, assumptions about health are not reserved solely for fat people.

  1.  Your size is probably not the first thing people notice about you

Well I’ll be damned if you shame me for noticing someone who’s the size of 2 people combined.

  1. Your health insurance rates are not higher than everyone else’s.

I’m going to assume this is an American article because a) it’s on and b) in the UK we have this wonderful thing called the NHS. The NHS gets a lot of bad press because it’s massively in debt and people seem to be constantly dying and shit but, personally, I’ve had a lot of dealings with the NHS in my life and they’ve been brilliant in every single one. This isn’t going to be about the benefits or hindrances of the NHS, so please don’t think I’m a paid spokesperson or anything.

Simple fact is, if you’re going to need more hospital treatment than the average person (average, not ‘normal’) then I don’t see why it’s a problem that the health insurance costs more. Like I say, we have the NHS in England, but even that isn’t without its problems. There have been cases recently where hospitals have had to spend money on resources to deal with super fat people. This ranges from reinforced CAT scanners, to double width wheelchairs. The point is, being fat does cost more when it comes to frequency and length of treatments.

There’s a lot of victimhood in the above points too:

  • You can expect to find your clothing size sold locally.


  1. You’re not the brunt of jokes for countless numbers of comedians.
  • The media doesn’t describe your body shape as part of an “epidemic”.
  • You can choose to not be preoccupied with your size and shape because you have other priorities without being judged.


Do you know how you fix the problem of not being able to find clothing locally? Lose weight.

Want to wear the latest styles? Lose weight.

Don’t want to be the brunt of jokes for comedians? (because comedians only ever insult fat people) Lose weight.

Don’t want to be part of the ‘epidemic’ (you know, that epidemic that involves people fucking dying and shit)? Lose weight.

If that sounds like I’m being harsh, that I’m discounting those people with genuine medical conditions, then I’m sorry. I’m not discounting those people with genuine medical conditions. I know that they are out there, I know that people suffer from them. I’m talking about the people who would rather blame others for their situations than look at themselves and identify the problems within their own lives.

I’m talking about this kind of stuff:

My body is absolutely exhausted. I’m 27 and it’s truly in pieces. Yes, I played rugby for 9 years during the most sensitive period of physical development (even longer if you count recreationally) but I can’t lay the blame for my body solely on that. It hasn’t helped, anyone who’s played rugby at any level of competitiveness knows the toll it takes. It’s the sport of rugby coupled with my weight that has destroyed my body (ok, destroyed is rather hyperbolic).

My knees are gone, my ankles are gone (left one in particular), my back’s gone, my neck’s gone, I’ve had problems with my jaw, every now and then I have shoulder problems. Yes, rugby has played its part, but I honestly think my weight has caused more problems. The constant yo-yoing, losing weight then gaining weight, putting stress of my joints, then taking stress off my joints only to put it back on them again.

I’m not saying that the anecdote in the above picture never applies, I’m just saying that, once again, discounting the impact your weight has is just denying you yourself have to hold some responsibility.

However, that all paled into insignificance when I read this:

This is where it gets really dangerous. Not only is this one of the biggest examples of outright victimhood and narcissism I’ve ever read, it’s also the type of thinking that will lead someone to an early grave. The suggestion that congratulating someone on their weight loss becomes is somehow ‘triggering’ is absolutely absurd. It falls right smack in the ‘my emotions’ section of the ‘stop being a fucking baby’ handbook.

There are a couple of key quotes:

made me feel awful about my size.”

As I’ve said, if that’s the case then maybe it’s not the people ‘triggering’ you that have the problem; maybe it’s you.

“See, by praising someone for losing weight, you’re indirectly fuelling fat phobia.”

No, by praising someone for losing weight you are congratulating and acknowledging their achievement, you are saying ‘well done’. It’s not a hard concept, the fact that this particular woman managed to twist the conversation to be about her when it really wasn’t shows how much of a victim she sees herself as.

Again, if you feel triggered because another person is congratulated on their weight loss then maybe the problem isn’t the person who’s lost the weight, maybe it’s the person staring back at you when you look in the mirror.

So, why am I writing this article, and what has it got to do with feminism? Well, the fact that the ‘thin privilege’ list was posted on proves that they are furthering this idea that ‘big is beautiful’ and ‘you don’t have to be skinny to be healthy’. I disagree, I don’t necessarily think that ‘fat-shaming’ is a positive thing to do, but at the same time I can see why people do it. I’m fat, I hate my body,I hate what I’ve become, I hate what I’ve let happen to my once-fit body. I don’t like to be called names, I don’t like to be insulted, I don’t like the insinuation that I’m lazy because I’m fat, but I sure as hell don’t blame people for saying those things, I blame myself for giving them something to insult.

I do find motivation is a big factor as well. When I started my new job I lost mine, it’s a simple as that. I went without the gym for 2 weeks and just couldn’t get back into the routine.

Now, though? Now, I’m developing a crush on a girl across the pond. It doesn’t matter that we’ll probably never meet, it doesn’t matter that we come from different walks of life. All that matters is I want to do something with my life, I don’t want to feel this way anymore, I want to be like I was 2 years ago; fit and strong and happy.

Sob story over.