Rape Culture – because our boys don’t matter.

Posted: May 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

Sometimes you read things that are so utterly ignorant it’s hard to believe that they made it past the first stage of cognition. How can someone write something that is so utterly wrong and incendiary without thinking ‘hang on, maybe this isn’t the best piece to publish on a national newspaper’s website.

But it did get published and, unbelievably, it didn’t cause national outcry because, 5 years later, it’s still there and I’d never heard about it. That’s rare, especially considering some of the stuff that has exploded on the internet in the last couple of years.

I’m referring to an article in the Guardian I read a few months back (it’s actually from a few years ago, but I only read it towards the back end of last year) that was absolutely outstanding in its sheer ignorance and hypocrisy. I was going to write a blog on it but, as happens so very often, I didn’t favourite the page and, despite numerous searches on Google, I couldn’t find it again (couldn’t even remember the headline).

Thankfully, these things have a habit of circling round again and it popped up in my Facebook timeline a few days ago. I’m ecstatic, because it truly is a cast iron example of what feminism is, and what feminism has done to the concept of rape. Plus, it follows on quite nicely from my recent blog on Amy Schumer and how, according to the feminist movement’s own definition, she’s a rapist.

So what has got me so excited? Why has a story about rape got me smiling and licking my lips in anticipation of writing this blog? Well, check this out:


Before I start, I hear the cries of ‘who is Barbara Ellen’ and ‘what’s this got to do with feminism?’ Well, Barbara Ellen is a female columnist for the Guardian newspaper, one of Britain’s biggest. There’s no indication from anything I can find on Google that she’s an outright, self-identifying feminist, but a quick glance through her list of published articles (and this article is from 2009, so she’s had a lot of time to write) shows she’s firmly planted on the feminist spectrum:


There’s also this amazingly ignorant, hypocritical story that falls into the same category as the one I’m writing about today:


If I get time, that will also get savagely torn apart, as it already has been by numerous blogs on the tinternet. It’s a stark, eye-opening look through the feminist mind-set. There is a definite theme running through her entire works, and it’s worse than the normal feminist view of ‘men have it bad, women have it worse’.  Barbara Ellen seems to be of the opinion that ‘men have no problems, women have them all.’

The simple fact it, she doesn’t appear to be even slightly interested in promoting equality, she only seems to be trying to marginalise men’s problems and inflating women’s problems with some amazing use of hyperbole. She does what most feminists out there do – in trying to show how women are equal, she actually shows how women are delicate flowers who are incapable of looking after themselves.

Anyway, on to the article. I’m not going to do a paragraph by paragraph breakdown, it’s not necessary to highlight the disgusting point of view this woman tries to get across. Before we start, here’s a simple TL;DR version of it:

Female teachers who have sex with underage male students shouldn’t be punished because the boy’s obviously wanted it; male teachers who rape underage female students are predatory scum who should definitely be put in prison.

Think I’m exaggerating? This is the opening paragraph:

’Looking at the case of Madeleine Martin, the 39-year-old RE teacher and mother of two, jailed for 32 months and placed on the sex offenders’ register for sleeping with a 15-year-old male pupil, do we seriously think that a female teacher sleeping with a male pupil is on a par with a male teacher sleeping with a girl pupil? I don’t. And neither, I’d wager, would most 15-year-old boys.’

Let’s look at the crux of this article again:

‘do we seriously think that a female teacher sleeping with a male pupil is on a par with a male teacher sleeping with a girl pupil? I don’t. And neither, I’d wager, would most 15-year-old boys.’

First of all, lets fuck off with the personal pronouns! If you opened your eyes you’d see that, actually, ‘we’ do not agree with your absolutely ridiculous opener. A teacher, regardless of gender, sleeping with a pupil is one of the worst things you could do. It’s no secret that I’m a teacher, so if anyone if is any position to say, quite clearly, how unequivocally wrong you are, Barbara Ellen, it’s me. Not only are you barking massively up the wrong tree, you are effectively minimising the very real psychological effect these ‘trysts’ (her words, not mine) have on these boys.

I’m going to try and view this as objectively as possible, but the fact that I am a teacher and, as far as I’m aware, Barbara Ellen is not, means that there’s going to be a sprinkling of personal opinion here that, hopefully, comes across as an educated opinion. I can only comment on what I’ve seen, but having been a teacher for nearly 6 years and worked in numerous schools, I’d like to think I’ve seen enough teenagers to be confident when I say: Barbara Ellen, you’re a cunt.

The fact that most 15 year old boys would agree with her is completely irrelevant. I do find it interesting her word choice here. She actually uses the word ‘boys’. So, in essence what she’s saying is that children are entirely capable of deciding who to sleep with and when, as long as they’re male. Totally makes sense.

Then we get this pathetic excuse at an argument:

‘The issue shouldn’t be taken lightly. All teachers, male and female, are in a position of trust and should not abuse it, though reading of Martin and the boy having sex in car parks, of her buying him mobile phones and tattoos with her name on “so he wouldn’t forget her”, of her failing marriage and terminally ill sister, Martin seems more pathetic than predatory.’

I’m honestly struggling to figure out how on Earth Ellen can put that paragraph together and not be aware of the insane ignorance that it contains.

‘All teachers, male and female, are in a position of trust and should not abuse it’

Well, it’s hard to disagree with this bit, but try Ellen does:

‘reading of Martin and the boy having sex in car parks, of her buying him mobile phones and tattoos with her name on “so he wouldn’t forget her of her failing marriage and terminally ill sister’

Having sex in car parks, buying him mobile phones, telling him of her failing marriage and terminally sister – that sounds like manipulation 101. If that’s not abuse of trust then what the fuck is? How can a woman actually write this and think it’s ok? Abuse of trust is bad, unless it’s a woman abusing that trust?

Look, I’m not trying to say that all 15 year old boys are stupid and don’t think about sex, I’m simply saying that the above is absurd. It is manipulation, it is an abuse of the position of trust, no matter what Barbara Ellen thinks.

What’s important to take away from this section is that there is no indication of how long this teacher knew this boy. As with a lot of teachers, bonds between themselves and students can start very young, sometimes as young as 11. It doesn’t matter if the 15 year old boy was the initiator, or if he ‘wanted it’, the fact is that the relationship between the two of them, no matter if sexual or not, could possibly have started when he was 11. That’s a lot of time, for a developing adolescent child, to forge some kind of connection with this woman. Regardless of what you think, the power you have as a teacher truly is powerful. There have been times when some of the kids I teach have said some stuff to me that has made me stop in my tracks. It doesn’t matter how innocent it might sound, or how flattering (I’ve had comments about my hair, my beard, my eyes, etc) it comes from a very dangerous place – an adolescent’s mind. It is up to me as a 20-something year old man to try to discourage this behaviour as much as possible.

But that’s not the end of Ellen’s little rape apologia:

 Martin seems more pathetic than predatory

I’m sorry Barbara Ellen, but having sex with a 15 year old boy, buying him mobile phones, telling him of her failing marriage and her ill sister is about as predatory as it gets. Yes it’s pretty pathetic, but pathetic doesn’t exclude predatory. Trying to dismiss the horror of a crime like this by effectively placing a rapist as a victim if disgusting.

What does it reek of? It reeks of the underbelly of rape culture! That word that feminists fucking love to throw around, but only seem to apply to women. Well, here we have a woman who, I would say, falls into the feminist spectrum of thinking, clearly trying to place a woman who raped a 15 year old boy as some kind of victim. When will people finally start realising that ‘rape culture’ can’t exist when the movement that peddles it so vigorously doesn’t even acknowledge an entire group of victims?! What will it take for feminists to finally stand up and say ‘wow, there are some fucked up people who associate with feminism, maybe I should make it clear I don’t agree with them’? Christina Hoff Summers can’t do it all on her own, especially when feminists attack her for decrying the ‘rape paranoia’ that is sweeping the west at the minute.

 Here’s some more:

‘Whether we like it or not, secondary schools are hubs of teenage sexuality. However, while girl and boy teenagers deserve the same protection, crucially what they want seems very different.’

Agree with the first sentence. What’s interesting here is that she seems to advocate allowing teenagers to indulge simply in what they want and thinking that this is ok. A lot of the students I teach smoke and drink. When asked why they reply with ‘because I want to.’ According to Ellen this should be as good an answer as any and we should just allow our schools to develop alcoholic, nicotine addicted sexual degenerates.

Alright, maybe she’s not advocating that, but she’s perilously close to it. Suggesting that a sexual relationship (in this case statutory rape) between female teachers and male pupils should be allowed, endorsed or dismissed because the boy wanted it is a path that only leads to ‘well, she was wearing a mini skirt, she must have wanted it.’

Why is that any different? It isn’t, it’s a fucking pathetic way of trying to excuse a female sexual predator simply because she doesn’t want to admit that female predation is a real, and regular, occurrence in schools.

This section highlights an interesting point, one that I’m not sure she intended to make:

‘From here, it is not too much of a leap to surmise that sexual contact with a teacher would have entirely different effects on the teenage sexes. For most boys, it would be the score of all scores, for girls, the ultimate exploitation of their genetic vulnerability.’

It would appear, to me, her intention is to suggest that sexual appetite in boys and sexual vulnerability in girls is ‘genetic’ and that boys are hard-wired to desire sexual gratification at that age. If I’ve learnt anything from feminism it’s that there are, apparently, no discernible differences between the sexes. Biologically, we are all the same. Yet, when it suits the argument, genetics is bought into it. It’s just one of the myriad of reasons why feminism is a joke movement to me – genetics means nothing, women are as capable, strong, independent and driven as men, except when it comes to sex, at which point we must be more protective of the fragile teenage girls who can’t possibly comprehend a sexual relationship and are never the instigators when involved in sexual activity with an older man, in this case a teacher.

‘While a large proportion of teenage boys may not have the sense to make the best choices, they are “up for it,” none the less. This is why, in my view, a male teacher sleeping with a girl pupil amounts to statutory rape, whereas a female teacher sleeping with a 15-year-old male is a far greyer moral area.’

And this is where her rape apologia comes blatantly out into the open. Boys are not mature enough at 15 to make ‘the best choices’ but the fact they are ‘up for it’ anyway cancels out any possible responsibility on the part of the teacher (a mature adult, by the way) to make sure those stupid decisions are not actually made reality.

So basically, a male teenager being ‘up for it’ negates any form of rape law, it negates any responsibility of any mature adult, particularly women, to try and defuse the situation, it excuses any act of statutory rape and paints it as ‘win/win’ for the victim and actually places victim status on the rapist, releasing them of any form of ‘predatory’ instinct.

‘Far greyer moral area’. Just let that sink in. When a male teacher rapes a female student, she’s vulnerable, she’s weak, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she’s been seduced, manipulated, victimised by a scumbag male who has only served his own wicked needs. When a male student is raped by a female teacher it’s fair game because he wanted it.

There is no ‘grey area’ when it comes to rape, especially when it comes to rape of underage children. I don’t care what Barbara Ellen thinks, I’ve seen emotionally confused, emotionally charged, emotionally undeveloped teenagers, both boys and girls, and to even suggest that we should not care about our boys being raped by teachers because they might have wanted it, or might see it as some sort of victory, is so fucked up it’s hard to comprehend. If two teenagers have sex, that’s a different matter, I’m not saying it’s any less worthy of discussion or that there wasn’t some form of manipulation, but it is so far away from what Ellen is describing that the two are not comparable.

‘Even from the perpetrator’s side there seems to be a gender difference. Most would agree that a male with a 15-year-old girl would be all about sex. With Martin, (the mobiles, the tattoo “so he wouldn’t forget her”), it seems painfully apparent that in her own damaged, wrong-headed way, she was attempting to mimic a proper relationship.’

No, you twat, most would not agreethat a male with a 15 year old girl would be about sex. What a crass and unnecessary generalisation. The attempt at turning this female teacher into a victim, outright stating that she was trying to mimic a proper relationship is sickening. ‘Painfully apparent’, is it? No, what is painfully apparent, so painful it’s like a punch in the chest, is the blatant rape apology that is prevalent throughout this entire piece. The excuses flow freely, she’s ‘damaged’, she’s ‘wrong-headed’, anything to try and find a way of making her the victim, anything to try and avoid accepting that, yes, women commit deplorable acts too. She’s a rapist, Barbara Ellen, there’s absolutely no two ways about it, she’s a rapist who preyed on a 15 year old boy. It doesn’t matter if he ‘wanted it’, it doesn’t matter if he turned up naked at her house, she was in a position of trust and she abused it in the worst possible way. The very notion of him ‘wanting it’ does not excuse what happened, and you peddling the notion that we should just forget it means you are no better.

The final paragraph:

‘Once we accept this difference, the justification for the equality of punishment starts blurring. In Martin’s case, with her hefty prison sentence, and placement on the sex offenders’ register, she has effectively been punished exactly the same as a man. What we have to ask ourselves now, is, knowing what we do about teenage boys, do women like her always commit exactly the same crime?’

Barbara Ellen is actually complaining that a woman got the same sentence a man would have received in the same situation? So much for equality. I think, right there, with that one sentence, Barbara Ellen has exposed every rotten thing about feminism. Feminism hasn’t been for equality for a long time. When a writer can sit and pontificate about a woman getting sentenced just like a man, and state that, somehow, some way that’s unfair on the woman? Yeah, that’s pretty fucking sick.

 ‘Knowing what we do about teenage boys’? You fucking scum, because our boys don’t need protecting? Because our boys don’t need looking after? Because our boys don’t deserve the same level of attention as our girls?

‘Do women like her always commit exactly the same crime?’ Do men?

There is one section I left out because I wanted to place it here:

‘The internet is awash with sites dealing with “older woman teacher-pupil” fantasies.’

She’s right, it is. I should know, I’ve watched enough of them. Shall I let you into a little secret though? Have any of the male performers in those videos ever looked like a 15 year old boy? Nope, didn’t think so. The simple case of a teenage boy ‘fantasising’ about something is in no way a way to excuse a female teacher from turning that fantasy into reality.

There are also sites dealing with rape fantasies. Does that mean we should just dismiss all rape claims? Well, some women have rape fantasies, so that means all women must secretly want to be raped. Can you imagine me leaving with my body intact if I made that comment and published it in the public arena. Some boys being sexually active or sexually developed does not mean all boys are the same and, as such, to suggest we treat them all the same is no more than absent-minded nonsense.

But what’s this got to do with feminism? Well, if it was an isolated incident, one stupid person making a stupid column on a backwater publication that had an audience of 6 people I wouldn’t be making this much of a fuss. But the fact is this was posted on the website of an incredibly popular UK newspaper and, much worse, it is still there 5 years after being written. 5 years and no-one has even batted an eyelid, not the mainstream media, not the feminists, no-one. I’d never encountered this story until last year and, even know, the ripples it is making are so worthlessly small that it’ll continue to slip under the radar and people like Barbara Ellen will continue to peddle their insane views without admonition.

Unfortunately, rape apologia when it comes to female teachers or females in positions of power, authority and trust is nothing new. In a blog I wrote way back in December, the first to deal with the idea of ‘rape culture’, I linked to two websites that rated female sexual predators by their attractiveness. Then, we have this lovely piece of denial by Adele Mercier, picked apart beautifully be Alison Tieman:


It’s becoming clearer and clearer. Despite what feminists claim, despite everything they say, they do not want to end ‘rape culture’ because they don’t even know what rape culture is. We are constantly told that we normalise, trivialise and condone rape towards women, despite numerous, national campaigns aimed at teaching ‘our sons’ (never our daughters) not to rape, yet when females in positions of power and trust abuse that privilege they are excused, they are labelled ‘pathetic’ instead of ‘predatory’. Rape culture cannot exist when half the problem remains unaddressed. Rape culture cannot exist when the very people who claim to be fighting it are, in fact, some of the worst perpetrators of it.

What culture do we live in when we are moving towards a society where sexual relations between consenting adults are getting harder and harder to define, yet a woman raping an underage boy is given a pass simply because the boy ‘wanted it’, with no consideration of the psychological effects that the act may have on that boy.

What this article does do, rather than giving some sort of reassurance to teenage boys out there that sexual activity and maturity is not some kind of fixed development that everyone approaches at the same time, it actively endorses the idea that they will be judged on their sexual prowess. Rather than saying ‘don’t worry, you being manipulated by an older woman is not your fault and you don’t have to suffer in silence’ it instead says ‘well, you wanted it so therefore it’s all ok, you aren’t mentally scarred, don’t be daft.’

Female teachers who rape male students, no matter their age, are abusing a very delicate position in that child’s life. It doesn’t matter who made the first move, the fact is your job is to teach these people how to cope with their developing bodies and minds. The way to do that is not to fulfil your own desires, whether that be for sex, friendship or companionship at the expense of the mental wellbeing of the person you are raping. The fact this article was published, and still exists only further cements my anti-feminist status.

Feminism, once again, you disgust me.

  1. MrMercury says:

    Well written. How hypocritical that when a female teacher sleeps with a male, the only explanation is that “he wanted it,” yet vice versa, it’s always rape?

    • johnsalmon86 says:

      Imagine if an article published by a man said that a 39 year old man sleeping with a 15 year old girl was acceptable because ‘she wanted it’?

      Do you think he’d still have a job at the same newspaper five years later? I don’t think so.

  2. […] Rape Culture – because our boys don’t matter. May 24, 2014 […]

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