Archive for May, 2014

Yes, this blog is about gender violence (for the umpteenth time) but I need to preface it with something that, possibly, will seem irrelevant but, ultimately, is not.

I started this piece a few days ago, actually before the last entry on rape culture. I stopped writing it because the ideas weren’t coming freely enough. I had a page of writing but it didn’t seem like I’d actually addressed anything I wanted to address, it was irrelevant waffle, nothing that was of any interest to me and, therefore, to you.

Then, I awoke yesterday morning (it’s currently Tuesday night in the UK) to see the story of Elliot Rodger had exploded on the internet. Elliot Rodger killed and wounded a number of people before killing himself. Theories as to why he did it range from male entitlement to misogyny to loneliness to the MRM. It lead to the trending of the #yesallwomen topic, followed by #yesallpeople. I have a lot of thoughts whirling round in my head about this incident, thoughts that I might try and put down on paper at some point. For now, let’s just say we have one more tragic incident to think about, that resulted in some families losing their children. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the only thing people should be talking about.

So, why bring up a spree-killing in a blog entry about gender violence? Well, because it’s caused me to scrap the page of stuff I had already written a couple of days ago and start from scratch.

I’ve written about gender violence before but, unfortunately, not a great deal seems to have changed. Yes, male victims of gender violence are starting to get recognition, but it’s still something that the majority don’t seem to embrace. I use the term ‘gender violence’ instead of ‘domestic violence’ for two reason – 1) I keep misspelling ‘domestic’ whenever I write it, which bugs the fuck out of me when I have to go back and correct it. 2) ‘domestic’ makes it sound like something that happens in the home. It’s not. Gender violence happens everywhere, to both men and women, in public and in private.

It’s no secret that gender violence, as with most other crimes, is seen as almost exclusively male perpetrated. There are thousands of shelters across the world for female victims of violence at the hands of males but very little, in some cases none, by way of support when it comes to men being victims of women.

Why? Because patriarchy. That is, if you listen to modern feminists. We still live in a society where it’s patriarchy that stops men from being seen as victims because we see women as incapable of committing violence. What they don’t seem to want to admit is that it is the feminist movement that is as much to blame. Much like their ‘no women ever lie about rape’ rhetoric, they present one sided ‘facts’ to support their argument – a woman is abused every 9 seconds in the US, 2 women die per week at the hands of their partner, etc. Do I believe these claims? No. Does that mean I deny the existence of gender violence? Of course not. So why do I think that feminism is to blame for the under-reporting of male victims?

Well, this certainly doesn’t help:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/18/solange-jay-z-beyonce-fight-assault-domestic-violence-men-women

Barbara Ellen should be a name familiar to you all. She is, after all, the woman who wrote the article that was the subject of my last blog on rape culture:

https://johnsalmonsworld.wordpress.com/2014/05/24/rape-culture-because-our-boys-dont-matter/

I mentioned in that blog how Ellen’s thinking amounts to ‘men have no problems, women have them all.’ Nowhere is that more apparent than her. If we take the sum total of 2 of her articles (and bear in mind that she’s been a Guardian columnist for over 5 years) and boil it down to the essentials, it basically comes out as this:

Underage boys who are raped are not really victims; men who are beat up by women are not really victims.

It does lead one to one rather pertinent question: at what point does Ellen consider men to actually be victims? Or, as I fear, is she of the opinion that men can’t be victims be ‘the oppressor can’t be victimised.’?

Now, I’ve noticed a trend recently where I’ve begun to use the word ‘cunt’ more often. I used this particular word to describe Barbara Ellen in the aforementioned blog on rape culture, but I think it’s worth repeating here. On a line of its own. In bold:

Barbara Ellen, you’re a cunt.

I’m fully aware of the ramifications of that insult, and I’ll be sure to expect some kind of notice from a highly-regarded (note: invisible) doctor claiming my insults have given Barbara Ellen PTSD or some other bullshit, but it’s a risk I’m prepared to take.

I was going to focus solely on that article but, really, I don’t have the energy, and I certainly don’t want to waste energy, on that vacuous waste of space. Instead, I thought it would be a good idea to just draw attention to how gender violence is still seen when the victim is male.

The above link is referencing something very recent – a quite brutal attack by Solange Knowles on Jay-Z:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/18/solange-jay-z-beyonce-fight-assault-domestic-violence-men-women

It’s an interesting story because it’s a high profile man being attacked by the sister of his high-profile wife (I have to admit I had no idea Beyonce even had a sister, but that’s irrelevant). Now, we’ve seen cases of high-profile women being beaten before, Chris Brown and Rihanna for example, but the reaction to this particular is hypocrisy central. When Chris Brown beat Rihanna, indeed when Charles Saatchi was seen choking Nigella Lawson in public, we got articles that examind the ‘pandemic’ of violence towards women and how ‘it can happen to you’:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/10124010/Nigella-Lawson-yes-it-can-happen-to-her.html

Did we get the same feeling of repulsion when Jay-Z was the victim? Did we fuck! Quite apart from Barbara Ellen’s rather ridiculous article above, a quick scan of Google reveals the extent of the sympathy we feel towards male victims:

http://search.babylon.com/?q=what+did+jay+z+do+to+annoy+solange+&s=web&as=0&rlz=0&sd=1&babsrc=HP_ss

Yeah, rather than newspaper articles sympathising, worrying for the male victim, rather than exposes of ‘abused men are too afraid to report it’, we get ‘what did Jay-Z do to deserve being beaten?’

The feminists have a buzzword for that, it’s called victim blaming and, according to them, it’s something that only matters when it’s being done to women.

Apparently, when men hit women that man’s an arsehole, when a woman hits a man the man’s an arsehole and probably deserved it.

Think that’s harsh? I don’t. It’s been proven time and time again that when a woman hits a man, especially in public, people just assume it’s because he deserves it:

http://youtu.be/LlFAd4YdQks

http://youtu.be/If3JWs1Bgr8

http://youtu.be/GeO9N7wJ9b4 (the video title in this one is particularly cruel)

http://youtu.be/S51xk68WO_g

“That’s all well and good, but those videos are old,” I hear you say, “surely things have changed? I mean, when Tyrone was beat up on Coronation Street calls from men to domestic violence hotlines tripled!” Yeah, and that’s a massive step forward which needs to continue.

Unfortunately, we haven’t come as far as we think, if this video is anything to go by. It was recorded in the middle of May this year, 2014, on a busy London street:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3PgH86OyEM

I’m not saying this is gospel, I’m not saying that there aren’t places where some people would help and intervene on the man’s behalf but we can only go on what we’ve seen and, internationally, the videos all seem to show the same outcome – people really don’t care when men are abused. At least, not enough to actually intervene and do something.

And it’s not just the people in the videos, the comments sections are quite eye opening. The victim blaming is immense and seems to boil down to two arguments:

  1. The man could easily defend himself because he’s stronger.
  2. The man should stop being a pussy and just walk away.

Unfortunately, what they both fail to take into account is the simple fact that, when it comes to women, physical violence often comes after the man has taken a verbal battering. Notice how she berates him loudly first, then puts her hands on him, then attempts to choke him. There is no way we can even begin to comprehend what his mindset is when he’s in that situation, yet people still try and claim the know what he should have done, as if they knew what actually was going through his mind as he was being verbally berated and then physically assaulted. I’m not going to even pretend I know what he felt like, but I will say this: I have been publically embarrassed before and it was the worst feeling ever. I couldn’t have defended myself even if I wanted to. The shame, the humiliation, it coursed through me like fire, it burnt into every fibre of my body. I was completely powerless. If I felt that powerless, imagine how this man feels.

This video has made its way onto various internet sites. My other Facebook feed being one of them, Imgur being another.

Sadly, some of the responses are all too typical of why there seems to be no progress made when it comes to gender violence and male victims.

‘There’s no reason to hit a woman’ is something that is hard-wired into a man’s brain. It’s something that is beaten into us from a young age, something we are told ‘real men’ don’t do. Meanwhile, I see women being actively encouraged to take out their frustrations physically on a man. He cheated so he deserved it, he looked at another woman so he deserved it, he said something I didn’t like so he deserved it.

Despite the fact that numerous men told their stories of being abused:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/cantwin_zps46ca4a1e.png

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/formervicimpoliveofficer_zpsc260a060.png

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/maleprivilege_zps3196a69c.png

People still managed to shame the men for ‘allowing’ themselves to be victimised and ‘defend’ those who stood by and did nothing:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/mendefendingthemselves_zpse3416873.png

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/intheirdefense_zps60f53790.png

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/menarestronger_zps9f644690.png

Men are stronger, they can push women off. That doesn’t take into account the aforementioned hard-wiring of ‘you don’t hit a woman’. It doesn’t take into account the fact that the abuse directed at men by women, as seen in the video, often starts out as verbal, insulting, belittling, before becoming physical. By that point, it doesn’t matter if you’re 5 foot or 6 foot, you’ve already been ground down, beaten mentally and now beaten physically. Plus, there’s the risk that if, or when, you do strike back there’ll a nice mob of people to ‘help’ you out by adding another layer to the violence and beating you again.

To questioning how ‘manipulative’ the editing was:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/editingskills_zps4db6541f.png

To spinning the conversation round to focus on women or suggesting that focus on men’s rights isn’t that important:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/womenhijacking_zps0078c40d.png

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/turningitintoawomansissue_zps88e4e493.png

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/becausepatriarchy_zps3661ccd4.png

There was one particularly fitting comment though. It highlights a rather pertinent point:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/whydontmenhelpmen_zps6f61d265.png

Why don’t men help other men? It’s a question that I’ve yet to see an acceptable answer to, in all the videos posted above. Why don’t men help other men?

Of course, one of the most disturbing responses was this:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/allaboutelliotrodge_zps9d711784.png

That’s why I mentioned Elliot Rodger at the start of this piece. Simple because, a discussion about men being the victim of domestic violence not only gets derailed by victim blaming, excusing the bystanders who did nothing and twisting the conversation to still make women the victims, we manage to someone lessen the need to focus on male victims because one male did something abhorrent with a gun in California.

Feminists often moan that men derail threads about violence towards women with ‘what about teh menz’ cries. Well, it’s because we’re pretty sick of being made out to be the sole perpetrators of these crimes when, quite clearly, it happens to men too, in comparable numbers.

In fact, sometimes the numbers aren’t comparable:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/IMG_3992_zpse7476181.jpg

The above study is from 2007, I hardly think the numbers will have changed since then. I always harp on about needing to take statistics with a pinch of salt. But it’s hard to dismiss them altogether in this case, as the videos show quite clearly that female on male violence is a real problem, not just because it happens but because we are still so blasé about the way we react to it.

I bring up Elliot Rodger because he inadvertently set off a bit of a firestorm on Twitter. The #yesallwomen trend exploded after his killings were made public, with numerous feminists wasting no time in aligning him with the MRM and telling us, almost gleefully, that his spree was the result of ‘male entitlement’ and ‘extreme misogyny’. I’ll shortly be writing a piece on Elliot Rodger, but this isn’t the time to go into it.

The point is that, quite rightly, men on Twitter were a little annoyed that, once again, feminists were demonising men and claiming to speak for all women:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/everysingleday_zps3073c4a8.png

despite numerous women coming out and publically declaring they disagreed with the trend.

 If statistics show that 40% of men are victims of gender violence, and 70% of incidents are perpetrated by females, it’s understandable that men would seem a little ostracised by a trend that only seems to focus on the victimisation of women.

It’s even more galling when the real suffering of men, at the hands of women, is cast aside because women don’t like being called darlin’:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/darlin_zpscd8c8383.png

The fact is, that statistic at the end of the video is not the whole picture. We are constantly told that 90% of rapes are unreported due to women fearing they won’t be believed. If that’s the case then it’s not beyond the realm of possibility to think that that 40% figure offered in the video is lowballing, an idea of just those brave enough to report their crimes.

#yesallwomen – feminists complain that men always turn discussions around to them, but they fail to consider the fact that feminists are the ones who continue this one way discussion when it comes to issues of rape and gender violence. Is it any wonder men have started to get sick of being demonised when it’s becoming clearer and clearer that men suffer at similar, if not more in some cases, rates that women do.

The fact that the #yesallwomen trend became #yesallpeople was a disgrace to feminists because, apparently, it was a way of silencing women. I’m sorry to say, but women have been the sole victims for far too long, now it’s time to stop the politicising of gender violence and focus on the only people who matter, the victims, regardless of gender.

You want to know why men are pissed at feminists, why men are pissed at #yesallwomen? Because it blatantly drives their suffering underground. When a trending topic is focused on particular crimes but is primarily dealing with only one gender it pushes aside every other piece of suffering, it implies, sometimes blatantly states, that the only suffering that matters is those of women. When feminists scream misogyny because men are trying to get their voices heard, when the shaming vocabulary of ‘privilege’ comes out, when a hashtag trend demonises men and paints every last woman on the planet as a victim it casually dismisses the fact that men are suffering, and suffering in a way that some women can’t even comprehend.

Is it any wonder young men are snapping and becoming violent when they aren’t receiving the treatment they need, when their problems and their agony is being pushed aside because some entitled little shit is complaining about not being able to wear spaghetti straps in hot weather? What message does it send when a hashtag devoted to women becomes ‘important’ in the discourse on violence, but a hashtag that tries to be more inclusive is derided as misogynistic?

What does it say that men are constantly silenced, that rape of men, in the UK, isn’t even classed as a crime, that we live in a ‘rape culture’ that only seems to effect women, while journalists can sit on their arses and write articles about how women who rape underage boys shouldn’t be sent to prison, a culture where feminists listen to a story about a woman raping a drunk man and then cheering it as if it was some sort of lesson in empowerment, a lesson where we’re told that it’s ‘not the same’ when a woman hits a man as it is when a man hits a woman?

Fuck those men who are being beaten by their partners, fuck those men who are suffering at the hands of those who are supposed to love them, fuck those men being raped, fuck those boys being taken advantage of fuck those boys being slaughtered for getting an education, fuck them all, nobody cares about you, nobody cares about you because you’re scum, you’re nothing, you’re evil, predatory, bigoted, sexist, dehumanising, objectifying, raping, beating, violent pieces of dirt who don’t deserve any attention whatsoever.

No, fuck you feminists. Fuck you and your constant demonising of men, and of women who support men and don’t buy into your ideals. Want to know why more and more people are shunning you? Because you’re pathetic, your attempts at perpetual victimhood are no longer working. People are seeing the truth, that the role of ‘abused’ is no longer solely the realm of women, it is the realm of humans. Trying any trick in the book to hold onto your victimhood is beginning to wear very thin. People are waking up to your hypocrisy, people are beginning to realise that you are nothing but professional victims.

Any time a discourse is opened on male victims, it would appear some women so intent on being victims that they cannot bear to share the victim spotlight with anyone else.

It’s time to stop pretending that men aren’t victims, it’s time to stop treating male victims as if they were invisible. It’s time to stop pretending that hashtags like ‘yesallpeople are misogynistic and actually think about what it’s implying. What’s sexist about ‘people’? Is it because it’s not solely about women? Newsflash for you, that line of thinking is sexist.

Who were the main complainants of the development of #yesallwomen into ‘yesallpeople? Yep, feminists.

Time to drop the victimhood, sisters. No-one’s buying your shit anymore.

Sometimes you read things that are so utterly ignorant it’s hard to believe that they made it past the first stage of cognition. How can someone write something that is so utterly wrong and incendiary without thinking ‘hang on, maybe this isn’t the best piece to publish on a national newspaper’s website.

But it did get published and, unbelievably, it didn’t cause national outcry because, 5 years later, it’s still there and I’d never heard about it. That’s rare, especially considering some of the stuff that has exploded on the internet in the last couple of years.

I’m referring to an article in the Guardian I read a few months back (it’s actually from a few years ago, but I only read it towards the back end of last year) that was absolutely outstanding in its sheer ignorance and hypocrisy. I was going to write a blog on it but, as happens so very often, I didn’t favourite the page and, despite numerous searches on Google, I couldn’t find it again (couldn’t even remember the headline).

Thankfully, these things have a habit of circling round again and it popped up in my Facebook timeline a few days ago. I’m ecstatic, because it truly is a cast iron example of what feminism is, and what feminism has done to the concept of rape. Plus, it follows on quite nicely from my recent blog on Amy Schumer and how, according to the feminist movement’s own definition, she’s a rapist.

So what has got me so excited? Why has a story about rape got me smiling and licking my lips in anticipation of writing this blog? Well, check this out:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/nov/29/barbara-ellen-madeleine-martin-comment

Before I start, I hear the cries of ‘who is Barbara Ellen’ and ‘what’s this got to do with feminism?’ Well, Barbara Ellen is a female columnist for the Guardian newspaper, one of Britain’s biggest. There’s no indication from anything I can find on Google that she’s an outright, self-identifying feminist, but a quick glance through her list of published articles (and this article is from 2009, so she’s had a lot of time to write) shows she’s firmly planted on the feminist spectrum:

http://www.theguardian.com/profile/barbaraellen

There’s also this amazingly ignorant, hypocritical story that falls into the same category as the one I’m writing about today:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/18/solange-jay-z-beyonce-fight-assault-domestic-violence-men-women

If I get time, that will also get savagely torn apart, as it already has been by numerous blogs on the tinternet. It’s a stark, eye-opening look through the feminist mind-set. There is a definite theme running through her entire works, and it’s worse than the normal feminist view of ‘men have it bad, women have it worse’.  Barbara Ellen seems to be of the opinion that ‘men have no problems, women have them all.’

The simple fact it, she doesn’t appear to be even slightly interested in promoting equality, she only seems to be trying to marginalise men’s problems and inflating women’s problems with some amazing use of hyperbole. She does what most feminists out there do – in trying to show how women are equal, she actually shows how women are delicate flowers who are incapable of looking after themselves.

Anyway, on to the article. I’m not going to do a paragraph by paragraph breakdown, it’s not necessary to highlight the disgusting point of view this woman tries to get across. Before we start, here’s a simple TL;DR version of it:

Female teachers who have sex with underage male students shouldn’t be punished because the boy’s obviously wanted it; male teachers who rape underage female students are predatory scum who should definitely be put in prison.

Think I’m exaggerating? This is the opening paragraph:

’Looking at the case of Madeleine Martin, the 39-year-old RE teacher and mother of two, jailed for 32 months and placed on the sex offenders’ register for sleeping with a 15-year-old male pupil, do we seriously think that a female teacher sleeping with a male pupil is on a par with a male teacher sleeping with a girl pupil? I don’t. And neither, I’d wager, would most 15-year-old boys.’

Let’s look at the crux of this article again:

‘do we seriously think that a female teacher sleeping with a male pupil is on a par with a male teacher sleeping with a girl pupil? I don’t. And neither, I’d wager, would most 15-year-old boys.’

First of all, lets fuck off with the personal pronouns! If you opened your eyes you’d see that, actually, ‘we’ do not agree with your absolutely ridiculous opener. A teacher, regardless of gender, sleeping with a pupil is one of the worst things you could do. It’s no secret that I’m a teacher, so if anyone if is any position to say, quite clearly, how unequivocally wrong you are, Barbara Ellen, it’s me. Not only are you barking massively up the wrong tree, you are effectively minimising the very real psychological effect these ‘trysts’ (her words, not mine) have on these boys.

I’m going to try and view this as objectively as possible, but the fact that I am a teacher and, as far as I’m aware, Barbara Ellen is not, means that there’s going to be a sprinkling of personal opinion here that, hopefully, comes across as an educated opinion. I can only comment on what I’ve seen, but having been a teacher for nearly 6 years and worked in numerous schools, I’d like to think I’ve seen enough teenagers to be confident when I say: Barbara Ellen, you’re a cunt.

The fact that most 15 year old boys would agree with her is completely irrelevant. I do find it interesting her word choice here. She actually uses the word ‘boys’. So, in essence what she’s saying is that children are entirely capable of deciding who to sleep with and when, as long as they’re male. Totally makes sense.

Then we get this pathetic excuse at an argument:

‘The issue shouldn’t be taken lightly. All teachers, male and female, are in a position of trust and should not abuse it, though reading of Martin and the boy having sex in car parks, of her buying him mobile phones and tattoos with her name on “so he wouldn’t forget her”, of her failing marriage and terminally ill sister, Martin seems more pathetic than predatory.’

I’m honestly struggling to figure out how on Earth Ellen can put that paragraph together and not be aware of the insane ignorance that it contains.

‘All teachers, male and female, are in a position of trust and should not abuse it’

Well, it’s hard to disagree with this bit, but try Ellen does:

‘reading of Martin and the boy having sex in car parks, of her buying him mobile phones and tattoos with her name on “so he wouldn’t forget her of her failing marriage and terminally ill sister’

Having sex in car parks, buying him mobile phones, telling him of her failing marriage and terminally sister – that sounds like manipulation 101. If that’s not abuse of trust then what the fuck is? How can a woman actually write this and think it’s ok? Abuse of trust is bad, unless it’s a woman abusing that trust?

Look, I’m not trying to say that all 15 year old boys are stupid and don’t think about sex, I’m simply saying that the above is absurd. It is manipulation, it is an abuse of the position of trust, no matter what Barbara Ellen thinks.

What’s important to take away from this section is that there is no indication of how long this teacher knew this boy. As with a lot of teachers, bonds between themselves and students can start very young, sometimes as young as 11. It doesn’t matter if the 15 year old boy was the initiator, or if he ‘wanted it’, the fact is that the relationship between the two of them, no matter if sexual or not, could possibly have started when he was 11. That’s a lot of time, for a developing adolescent child, to forge some kind of connection with this woman. Regardless of what you think, the power you have as a teacher truly is powerful. There have been times when some of the kids I teach have said some stuff to me that has made me stop in my tracks. It doesn’t matter how innocent it might sound, or how flattering (I’ve had comments about my hair, my beard, my eyes, etc) it comes from a very dangerous place – an adolescent’s mind. It is up to me as a 20-something year old man to try to discourage this behaviour as much as possible.

But that’s not the end of Ellen’s little rape apologia:

 Martin seems more pathetic than predatory

I’m sorry Barbara Ellen, but having sex with a 15 year old boy, buying him mobile phones, telling him of her failing marriage and her ill sister is about as predatory as it gets. Yes it’s pretty pathetic, but pathetic doesn’t exclude predatory. Trying to dismiss the horror of a crime like this by effectively placing a rapist as a victim if disgusting.

What does it reek of? It reeks of the underbelly of rape culture! That word that feminists fucking love to throw around, but only seem to apply to women. Well, here we have a woman who, I would say, falls into the feminist spectrum of thinking, clearly trying to place a woman who raped a 15 year old boy as some kind of victim. When will people finally start realising that ‘rape culture’ can’t exist when the movement that peddles it so vigorously doesn’t even acknowledge an entire group of victims?! What will it take for feminists to finally stand up and say ‘wow, there are some fucked up people who associate with feminism, maybe I should make it clear I don’t agree with them’? Christina Hoff Summers can’t do it all on her own, especially when feminists attack her for decrying the ‘rape paranoia’ that is sweeping the west at the minute.

 Here’s some more:

‘Whether we like it or not, secondary schools are hubs of teenage sexuality. However, while girl and boy teenagers deserve the same protection, crucially what they want seems very different.’

Agree with the first sentence. What’s interesting here is that she seems to advocate allowing teenagers to indulge simply in what they want and thinking that this is ok. A lot of the students I teach smoke and drink. When asked why they reply with ‘because I want to.’ According to Ellen this should be as good an answer as any and we should just allow our schools to develop alcoholic, nicotine addicted sexual degenerates.

Alright, maybe she’s not advocating that, but she’s perilously close to it. Suggesting that a sexual relationship (in this case statutory rape) between female teachers and male pupils should be allowed, endorsed or dismissed because the boy wanted it is a path that only leads to ‘well, she was wearing a mini skirt, she must have wanted it.’

Why is that any different? It isn’t, it’s a fucking pathetic way of trying to excuse a female sexual predator simply because she doesn’t want to admit that female predation is a real, and regular, occurrence in schools.

This section highlights an interesting point, one that I’m not sure she intended to make:

‘From here, it is not too much of a leap to surmise that sexual contact with a teacher would have entirely different effects on the teenage sexes. For most boys, it would be the score of all scores, for girls, the ultimate exploitation of their genetic vulnerability.’

It would appear, to me, her intention is to suggest that sexual appetite in boys and sexual vulnerability in girls is ‘genetic’ and that boys are hard-wired to desire sexual gratification at that age. If I’ve learnt anything from feminism it’s that there are, apparently, no discernible differences between the sexes. Biologically, we are all the same. Yet, when it suits the argument, genetics is bought into it. It’s just one of the myriad of reasons why feminism is a joke movement to me – genetics means nothing, women are as capable, strong, independent and driven as men, except when it comes to sex, at which point we must be more protective of the fragile teenage girls who can’t possibly comprehend a sexual relationship and are never the instigators when involved in sexual activity with an older man, in this case a teacher.

‘While a large proportion of teenage boys may not have the sense to make the best choices, they are “up for it,” none the less. This is why, in my view, a male teacher sleeping with a girl pupil amounts to statutory rape, whereas a female teacher sleeping with a 15-year-old male is a far greyer moral area.’

And this is where her rape apologia comes blatantly out into the open. Boys are not mature enough at 15 to make ‘the best choices’ but the fact they are ‘up for it’ anyway cancels out any possible responsibility on the part of the teacher (a mature adult, by the way) to make sure those stupid decisions are not actually made reality.

So basically, a male teenager being ‘up for it’ negates any form of rape law, it negates any responsibility of any mature adult, particularly women, to try and defuse the situation, it excuses any act of statutory rape and paints it as ‘win/win’ for the victim and actually places victim status on the rapist, releasing them of any form of ‘predatory’ instinct.

‘Far greyer moral area’. Just let that sink in. When a male teacher rapes a female student, she’s vulnerable, she’s weak, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she’s been seduced, manipulated, victimised by a scumbag male who has only served his own wicked needs. When a male student is raped by a female teacher it’s fair game because he wanted it.

There is no ‘grey area’ when it comes to rape, especially when it comes to rape of underage children. I don’t care what Barbara Ellen thinks, I’ve seen emotionally confused, emotionally charged, emotionally undeveloped teenagers, both boys and girls, and to even suggest that we should not care about our boys being raped by teachers because they might have wanted it, or might see it as some sort of victory, is so fucked up it’s hard to comprehend. If two teenagers have sex, that’s a different matter, I’m not saying it’s any less worthy of discussion or that there wasn’t some form of manipulation, but it is so far away from what Ellen is describing that the two are not comparable.

‘Even from the perpetrator’s side there seems to be a gender difference. Most would agree that a male with a 15-year-old girl would be all about sex. With Martin, (the mobiles, the tattoo “so he wouldn’t forget her”), it seems painfully apparent that in her own damaged, wrong-headed way, she was attempting to mimic a proper relationship.’

No, you twat, most would not agreethat a male with a 15 year old girl would be about sex. What a crass and unnecessary generalisation. The attempt at turning this female teacher into a victim, outright stating that she was trying to mimic a proper relationship is sickening. ‘Painfully apparent’, is it? No, what is painfully apparent, so painful it’s like a punch in the chest, is the blatant rape apology that is prevalent throughout this entire piece. The excuses flow freely, she’s ‘damaged’, she’s ‘wrong-headed’, anything to try and find a way of making her the victim, anything to try and avoid accepting that, yes, women commit deplorable acts too. She’s a rapist, Barbara Ellen, there’s absolutely no two ways about it, she’s a rapist who preyed on a 15 year old boy. It doesn’t matter if he ‘wanted it’, it doesn’t matter if he turned up naked at her house, she was in a position of trust and she abused it in the worst possible way. The very notion of him ‘wanting it’ does not excuse what happened, and you peddling the notion that we should just forget it means you are no better.

The final paragraph:

‘Once we accept this difference, the justification for the equality of punishment starts blurring. In Martin’s case, with her hefty prison sentence, and placement on the sex offenders’ register, she has effectively been punished exactly the same as a man. What we have to ask ourselves now, is, knowing what we do about teenage boys, do women like her always commit exactly the same crime?’

Barbara Ellen is actually complaining that a woman got the same sentence a man would have received in the same situation? So much for equality. I think, right there, with that one sentence, Barbara Ellen has exposed every rotten thing about feminism. Feminism hasn’t been for equality for a long time. When a writer can sit and pontificate about a woman getting sentenced just like a man, and state that, somehow, some way that’s unfair on the woman? Yeah, that’s pretty fucking sick.

 ‘Knowing what we do about teenage boys’? You fucking scum, because our boys don’t need protecting? Because our boys don’t need looking after? Because our boys don’t deserve the same level of attention as our girls?

‘Do women like her always commit exactly the same crime?’ Do men?

There is one section I left out because I wanted to place it here:

‘The internet is awash with sites dealing with “older woman teacher-pupil” fantasies.’

She’s right, it is. I should know, I’ve watched enough of them. Shall I let you into a little secret though? Have any of the male performers in those videos ever looked like a 15 year old boy? Nope, didn’t think so. The simple case of a teenage boy ‘fantasising’ about something is in no way a way to excuse a female teacher from turning that fantasy into reality.

There are also sites dealing with rape fantasies. Does that mean we should just dismiss all rape claims? Well, some women have rape fantasies, so that means all women must secretly want to be raped. Can you imagine me leaving with my body intact if I made that comment and published it in the public arena. Some boys being sexually active or sexually developed does not mean all boys are the same and, as such, to suggest we treat them all the same is no more than absent-minded nonsense.

But what’s this got to do with feminism? Well, if it was an isolated incident, one stupid person making a stupid column on a backwater publication that had an audience of 6 people I wouldn’t be making this much of a fuss. But the fact is this was posted on the website of an incredibly popular UK newspaper and, much worse, it is still there 5 years after being written. 5 years and no-one has even batted an eyelid, not the mainstream media, not the feminists, no-one. I’d never encountered this story until last year and, even know, the ripples it is making are so worthlessly small that it’ll continue to slip under the radar and people like Barbara Ellen will continue to peddle their insane views without admonition.

Unfortunately, rape apologia when it comes to female teachers or females in positions of power, authority and trust is nothing new. In a blog I wrote way back in December, the first to deal with the idea of ‘rape culture’, I linked to two websites that rated female sexual predators by their attractiveness. Then, we have this lovely piece of denial by Adele Mercier, picked apart beautifully be Alison Tieman:

http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/professor-adele-mercier-it-wasnt-rape-he-was-asking-for-it-queensjournal/

It’s becoming clearer and clearer. Despite what feminists claim, despite everything they say, they do not want to end ‘rape culture’ because they don’t even know what rape culture is. We are constantly told that we normalise, trivialise and condone rape towards women, despite numerous, national campaigns aimed at teaching ‘our sons’ (never our daughters) not to rape, yet when females in positions of power and trust abuse that privilege they are excused, they are labelled ‘pathetic’ instead of ‘predatory’. Rape culture cannot exist when half the problem remains unaddressed. Rape culture cannot exist when the very people who claim to be fighting it are, in fact, some of the worst perpetrators of it.

What culture do we live in when we are moving towards a society where sexual relations between consenting adults are getting harder and harder to define, yet a woman raping an underage boy is given a pass simply because the boy ‘wanted it’, with no consideration of the psychological effects that the act may have on that boy.

What this article does do, rather than giving some sort of reassurance to teenage boys out there that sexual activity and maturity is not some kind of fixed development that everyone approaches at the same time, it actively endorses the idea that they will be judged on their sexual prowess. Rather than saying ‘don’t worry, you being manipulated by an older woman is not your fault and you don’t have to suffer in silence’ it instead says ‘well, you wanted it so therefore it’s all ok, you aren’t mentally scarred, don’t be daft.’

Female teachers who rape male students, no matter their age, are abusing a very delicate position in that child’s life. It doesn’t matter who made the first move, the fact is your job is to teach these people how to cope with their developing bodies and minds. The way to do that is not to fulfil your own desires, whether that be for sex, friendship or companionship at the expense of the mental wellbeing of the person you are raping. The fact this article was published, and still exists only further cements my anti-feminist status.

Feminism, once again, you disgust me.

Yep, you guessed it, it’s time for a rape boner! Rapey rape mcrape!! (For those who are utterly confused, and probably a little disgusted, you need to read this blog first to understand where ‘rape boner’ comes from: https://johnsalmonsworld.wordpress.com/2014/04/10/25-everyday-examples-of-rape-culture-an-exploration/)

We hear a lot about ‘rape culture’:

In fact, rape seems to be a major discussion point in this blog, I’m constantly writing about it, and I’m constantly defending why I write about it. I’m always having to explain and justify my views on rape, how I think it’s abhorrent, one of the worst crimes you could commit, always having to try not to sound like an insensitive, victim-blaming cunt.

So why do I constantly harp on about rape? Surely I’m as bad as the feminists who harp on about rape constantly? I do it because I feel like we are moving towards a culture that truly is trivialising rape, just not in the way feminists claim. I fear we will soon live in a culture where any sexual act initiated by a man can, somehow, some way, be called rape. I fear we will soon be in a culture where male sexuality is demonised to the point that sex can only be initiated by women, and anything else is automatically rape. I also flat out refuse to believe we currently live in a ‘rape culture’, as my refutation in the linked blog above demonstrates.

Of course, I know enough sane, open-minded people who think the above idea is absurd, and who agree that there is no real ‘rape culture’, but it appears every day I am now being made aware of some new sexual practice that is classed as rape.

Rape is a horrible crime, but we shouldn’t let that cloud the way we speak about it as an act. I think consent is a massively important concept to talk about, especially when it comes to what actually constitutes sex and what constitutes rape. The movement towards ‘enthusiastic consent’, as seems to be the new buzzword, only tends to further blur the lines between rape and consent.

The problem is that consent, to some degree, is entirely subjective, to other degrees it’s entirely objective. Saying “no” when someone tries to have sex with you is a pretty clear-cut sign that you don’t want to have sex, anyone who carries on regardless can fairly be said to be a rapist.

The problems become apparent when ‘enthusiastic consent’ isn’t apparent. When people are in a relationship they know when they are in the mood, they know when their partners are in the mood. When I was with my girlfriend at University I don’t think I ever once asked her if she wanted sex, even when we did it the first time, it was a natural, fluid progression of events. I would hate to think that, in some way, I could be considered a rapist because of the way we went about it.

I’m not saying people can’t be raped within in a relationship, just that the parameters are different. It’s also slightly different considering there are statistics out there that show women do engage in ‘token resistance’, which I believe is a slightly more professional way of ‘playing hard to get’, that is, pretending they don’t want sex when they really do; they just want their partner to work harder at it.

The whole point of this is not to try and disregard rape, or say that every act is rape, just that it’s impossible, and ridiculous, to try and apply a blanket coverage, a blanket definition, of what is or isn’t consent. If consent is not ‘enthusiastic’, but instead is give non-verbal suggestions, or verbal cues that aren’t words (moans and such) does it make it any less consent? Or are we going to find ourselves in a position where sex will become robotic and machine-like with constant reassurances needed that the parties involved are ‘still in the mood’.

Of course, as with everything that pertains to rape and sex, there still exists a double standard. I don’t watch much TV, but there is a definitely a massive difference in the way the following two rapes were reported on:

http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/06/don-draper-was-raped/276937/

http://www.xojane.com/entertainment/girls-adam-natalia-rape-scene

And that’s the problem. The ‘gray rape’ scene from Girls generated a massive discussion and ‘perpetuated rape culture’ due to the nature of the act performed and the fact the female involved did not enjoy the act, that it seemed cruel rather than consensual.

Of course, contrast that with the man being raped by the female and it is either glossed over or presented as some kind of male fantasy, a Graduate-esque seducing of a willing male by an experienced female. Double standard? Of course, because male rape isn’t taken seriously, even when it’s a character as well known as Don Draper.

I haven’t seen either scene, but the fact they were reported in such different ways only proves that if a ‘rape culture’ does exist then perhaps we are looking at the wrong section of society. At what point does it become a ‘rape culture’ if an ambiguous sex scene generates as much discussion as the ‘gray rape’ scene (or indeed any episode of Game of Thrones), yet a clear male rape scene is passed over completely, or told from the perspective of ‘score for the young boy’?

But, what’s feminism got to do with this? Well, it’s feminism that is adamant we live in this ‘rape culture’, this society that normalises rape, trivialises it, makes it acceptable and furthers the ‘war on women’.

The issue with this rape culture is simple; it only ever focuses on those examples of women being raped by men, or men being raped by men in order to solidify the ‘sexual violence is a male problem’. The appreciation or consideration of two other groups of victims; namely male victims of female rapists and, indeed, female victims of female rapists, are completely left out of the discourse.

Why? Because the fact the two above crimes even exist, or that they exist with similar frequency to male on female rape, absolutely shatters the feminist dogma about rape culture. We know that female on male rape does happen, yet we ignore it. We know female on female rape happens, yet there is so little literature on the subject that it’s almost an invisible crime, one that nobody dares admit. The fact the above two crimes exist but don’t form a part of ‘rape culture’ means I can’t seriously take ‘rape culture’ to be anything other than another cherry-picking exercise by feminists to show just how ‘oppressed’ they are.

But, back to female on male rape. There’s an annual awards ceremony called the Gloria Awards, named after Gloria Steinem. It’s funded by the Ms Foundation, an offshoot of Ms Magazine, a very feminist publication. That’s important to know when this little story unfolds.

At a recent ceremony, comedian Amy Schumer gave a speech about gaining confidence and letting go of the past. Of course, this being a feminist awards ceremony her speech went down a treat. Luckily there’s a transcript of it for all to read:

http://www.vulture.com/2014/05/read-amy-schumers-ms-gala-speech.html

The introductory paragraph contains the following:

Amy Schumer gave one too, covering regrettable sexual encounters, crises of confidence, body-image issues, Sam Cooke, and being one’s own fairy godmother.

The key section here is ‘regrettable sexual encounters’.

Now, I would like to highlight a certain section from her speech, specifically dealing with that ‘regrettable sexual encounter’:

He’s fucking wasted

Do I even need to explain this? Apparently, a girl having any amount of alcohol means she cannot give any form on meaningful consent, yet Schumer describes this man as ‘wasted’ and the author of the article has the absolute temerity to call it a ‘regrettable sexual encounter’? Wow, feminism perpetuating rape culture? How deliciously hypocritical!

Let’s have a look at some more of this ‘regrettable sexual encounter’:

But I was here, and I wanted to be held and touched and felt desired, despite everything. I wanted to be with him. I imagined us on campus together, holding hands, proving, “Look! I am lovable! And this cool older guy likes me!” I can’t be the troll doll I’m afraid I’ve become.

We tried kissing. His 9 a.m. shadow was scratching my face — I knew it’d look like I had fruit-punch mouth for days after

And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand? So he was pushing aggressively into my thigh, and during this failed penetration, I looked around the room to try and distract myself or God willing, disassociate. What’s on the wall? A Scarface poster, of course. Mandatory. Anything else? That’s it? This Irish-Catholic son of bank teller who played JV soccer and did Mathletes feels the most connection with a Cuban refugee drug lord. The place looked like it was decorated by an overeager set designer who took the note “temporary and without substance” too far.

He started to go down on me. That’s ambitious, I think. Is it still considered getting head if the guy falls asleep every three seconds and moves his tongue like an elderly person eating their last oatmeal?

Let’s put this in layman’s terms – she was so desperate for human interaction that she had sex (or at least attempted) with a guy who she herself describes as ‘wasted’. According to the feminists own definition, this was a cast iron example of rape. Simple as, no hesitation, not questions, no ambiguities. Amy Schumer raped a man.

Which leads me to this article:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/05/wait-a-second-did-amy-schumer-rape-a-guy/

Yes, Amy Schumer raped a man, and a feminist audience lapped it up and filed it squarely in the ‘chalk one up for confidence box’.

What they really mean is – “don’t let the fact you raped a guy hold you back, you’re still a victim of his patriarchal desires, you’re a strong confident woman who deserves better.”

And they have the nerve to say we live in a culture that normalises rape towards women. They have the temerity to claim men are potential rapists, or that women who falsely accuse men are still victims because they do time for ‘being raped without being touched’:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/IMG_3833_zpsa7e9a25f.jpg

They have the nerve to pontificate on what does and doesn’t constitute rape culture while they sit in a room full of other feminists and actively ignore, or even worse endorse, a woman who rapes a man because it allowed her to see her inner confidence?

But what’s this got to do with feminism? Well, Ms Magazine is a feminist publication, the Gloria Awards are named after a massively prominent feminist, I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb to suggest most of the people attending are either feminists or feminist-leaning.

One helpful link provided in the article just above leads us to this story:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/04/my-rapist-doesnt-know-hes-a-rapist-because-my-culture-hasnt-taught-him-he-is-one/

What’s interesting in this story is the parallels to Amy Schumer’s story:

But it was 3 am, I was drunk beyond comprehension, and I never said yes.

I remember laying on my back while he and his whiskey dick had sex with my unresponsive, near-asleep body, all the while praying for it to be over. When he finished (on my chest, I might add), I shoved him off of me. I asked him to leave, and immediately threw up in my trash can. I stood in the shower for an hour and still couldn’t get the dirty feeling off. I cried for hours. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, and attributed it to “being drunk and emotional”. I didn’t tell my friends.

An almost identical situation, yet this time it’s the girl who was drunk. She’s the one who ‘gave him the eye’, much like it was the man in Schumer’s story that called her in the early hours.

The man in Schumer’s ‘experience’ fell asleep; the woman in the above story was ‘near-asleep’.

Comparatively, it was a similar experience, yet the story told from the woman’s perspective is horrific. It tells of the 3 year struggle she had to come to terms with it, the fact she couldn’t reconcile the act with rape because she had no injuries. It tells of the fact she was instantly sick after act, yet it took her an innumerate amount of time to really assimilate what had happened. It took her reading other stories of survivors for her to really admit what had happened.

The story told from the man’s perspective is, unsurprisingly, just a way for us to learn about empowerment, about body issues and about confidence. In short, it’s a nanobite of information, a way for us to feel even more sympathy for the speak, a well known comedian. It’s a way for us to really get into her headspace, how she thought sex was a way of feeling loved and comforted and desired, how the act was only a way for her to feel the warmth of another human. Basically, this ‘regrettable sexual encounter’ is an inconsequential anecdote, a signpost, a stopping point on the way to learning how she overcame this ordeal, the ordeal of raping someone, in order to become a better woman.

That’s right, in both of these stories we are lead to sympathise for the woman, we are lead to see the woman as the victim.

One is raped, we feel sympathy for her, as we rightly should, we feel for her and her journey of self discover, we see the resilience in her character, we see how she’s suffered, we give her our all in finding redemption and peace.

One is a rapist, and I can’t bring myself to type the same words again.

The headline of the article about the female victim states:

My Rapist Doesn’t Know He’s A Rapist (Because My Culture Hasn’t Taught Him He Is One)

If our culture doesn’t teach our men and boys what rape is, despite the numerous, offensive, campaigns, the numerous posters, the numerous feminists that tell men and boys they are inherently rapists:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/boysarerapists_zps0ea6f1fc.jpg

then what type of culture do we live in when it comes to female rapists? If it’s ‘rape culture’ to demonise men and boys simply because they are men and boys, then what the fuck kind of culture do we live in when female rapists become the victims, when their stories of rape become a smaller part of a bigger story about confidence and self-esteem and how they managed to break from the chains of oppression and the beauty within themselves?

There is a very telling quote from that second story that just shows the utter hypocrisy and absolutely horror of feminist ‘rape culture’:

Drunkenness is not an excuse for rape; it’s an alibi.

Drunkenness is not an excuse for rape, unless you’re a female doing the raping.

Feminism, you disgust me!