Everyone’s a feminist; except those we decide are not worthy, or have a penis, or stay at home with their kids, or are from the 15th century, or don’t believe only women are victims, and some other shit.

Posted: February 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’ll start this particular entry with somewhat of an apology. I mentioned, 2 weeks ago, that my outlook on life had changed, that these blog entries would perhaps become more vitriolic due to circumstances in my personal life. Well, since that time I’ve published 2 entries. Just 2, that’s it. Normally I try and post 2 blogs a week, one on Saturday, one on Sunday. The reason for this is very simple; I’m very busy at work. January is mock exam season in the English school system, which means, along with all the other sets of data needed at this time of year, I’ve had 2 additional sets of exams to mark, which is very time consuming. This week alone I’ve spent more time at work than I have at home. Not bad for a job that finishes at 3pm.

To that end, the amount of time at work has left no time at all to write any entries for this blog, despite the fact I’ve wanted to do nothing more than sit at the computer and write for the last 4 days. I currently have 5 topics I want to discuss, and I’m seriously considering whether I can write all five this weekend. I think, generally speaking, if I wait too long to write a blog entry on a particular topic it becomes too late, the anger has gone, it doesn’t seem relevant anymore. Despite the fact the particular meme I’m writing on might be years old, the fact that it’s been a week, or two weeks, since I’ve seen it means it loses its impact if I’m writing on the subject a week removed.

Luckily, this particular meme hasn’t left me cold, I only have to take one look at it and this blog pretty much writes itself. It’s not a brand new meme, it’s a slightly different version of a meme that I’ve already taken a swipe at in the past. A lot of the stuff I write in this blog entry may mirror the stuff in my last article for www.mhro.ca (shameless plug time: http://www.mhro.ca/feminism-were-working-on-mens-issues-too-its-easy-because-you-dont-have-any-lolz/). If that is the case, I can only apologise, but these ridiculous memes keep appearing, so every time I see one I feel it is my duty to have another go at it.

I would like to say that this entry, much like the I Don’t Need Feminism trilogy, is not going to be stand-alone. It should, if I get it right, segue quite nicely into the next entry that will be based on an article I came across on Facebook the other day. Consider this like The Lord of the Rings, they’ll be written at the same time, but published separately, despite having similar themes.

So, the meme that becomes the focus of this particular entry is very similar to the one I wrote about here: https://johnsalmonsworld.wordpress.com/2013/10/27/my-view-on-women-how-exactly-do-i-feel/. If you want to read that first, go ahead, but you don’t need to in order for this one to make sense.

The other day, some dipshit feminist page on Facebook posted this lovely picture:


Yep, much more colourful than the one in my earlier blog, and much descriptive as well. You see, when I was growing up I was always convinced I was a feminist. I wanted women to be equal, I didn’t see how they were any different, growing up with an older sister and something of a battleaxe for a mother (and I say that with the utmost amount of love and respect) I never was of the opinion that women were ‘lesser’ beings. The problem was, I never felt accepted by feminism. I never felt like I was truly allowed to be a part of it, no matter what my intention was. As I mentioned in another blog entry about my experiences growing up, the feminism I encountered first hand seemed positively against men becoming member, as if only women could understand the suffering other women go through. I suppose that’s a fair point, I have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, but feminists have no idea what it’s like to be a man, yet that doesn’t stop them trying to explain what it is to be ‘masculine’ and how ‘real men’ behave. But anyway, that’s a topic for another day.

The point of the meme above is simple: shame anyone who doesn’t identify as feminist by suggesting that the only possible option, if you’re for equal rights, is to be a feminist, and anyone who doesn’t isn’t worthy of being alive in the 21st Century. Feminists love this technique, the idea that simply believing in equality makes you a feminist. Well, I believe in equality, I believe in equal choice, equal pay and equal right to vote. That does sound like it makes me a feminist, I suppose. But, I also believe in equality of responsibility, equality of accountability, equality of statistics, I believe in the truth, I believe that men and women should have equality of opportunity, but that doesn’t necessarily mean equality of outcome. Put simply, women should be able to choose whatever job they go into, if that means only 18% (or some other random number pulled out of thin air) of a particular workforce are women, well that’s just the way it is. I detest the idea of affirmative action. I detest the idea of positive discrimination and I detest the idea of gender quotas in the workplace. If you want women to succeed in male-oriented jobs don’t breed resentment among workers by saying the only way women can get there is to fuck men over. That’s a really helpful way to look at it – “women are just as capable as men, but we don’t trust you to get the job on your own merits, so here’s a little helping hand.” Fuck, it can’t just be me that finds that insulting to women?

Anyway, all the above illustrates is that, despite the best efforts of that meme, I am, in fact, as far away from being a feminist as you can imagine. I’ve said this before but it is not for one group to assign labels on people, it is not for one group to go around stating what you may or may not be, what group you may or may not associate with. I’ve said countless times, despite the fact this blog leans heavily towards exploring the rights for men and boys, I am not an MRA. Thankfully, I have yet to meet a single person, not one, within the MRM that has shamed me for not identifying with the label. Guess who has tried to shame me, discredit me simply by way of association? Yep, feminists.  Feminists are so desperate to stick a label on people, to try and decide who fits into what hole, which person is part of their group, that they lose the bigger picture. Surely they would achieve more if they actually focused on issues that affected men and women instead of producing ridiculous ideas on who can and can’t fit in their movement.

I do find it highly hilarious, and deliciously ironic, that the above meme exists. The fact that someone took the time to create it, on Paint by the looks of it, just tickles me. Aside from the fact that the 15th century is such an arbitrary century to pick, it is so unaware of the ideas within its own movement that it just becomes another ignorant picture in a long line of ignorant pictures.

Man, woman, child, dog, cat, space alien, doesn’t matter who you are, if you believe men and women are equal, congratulations, you’re a feminist. You’re allowed to be part of our little movement, we extend membership to you, whether you want it or not, and allow you to join our little crusade. How nice, aren’t we lovely people, you’re sure to get along with everyone here, we’re all for fighting the same battle, coffee and tea are at the back.

Only, what happens when Emer O’Toole decides to show up to our weekly meeting?


And for those who can’t finish that victim-entrenched piece of piousness, I’ve taken the best bit for you:


Ah, I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning. Well, aside from the fact it’s half past midnight here, but that’s beside the point. Oh, I can be part of your little club, except I can’t? Yeah, because that’s not confusing at all, is it?

Which is it? What exactly does feminism want, does it want everyone to consider themselves a feminist, or only those that it deems acceptable? Does it want men, or not? The thing that really troubles me about the above meme (and I said this in my article on mhro.ca) is that, the way O’Toole looks at it, if you think men and women are equally disadvantaged but in separate ways, it means you can’t be a feminist. Only by seeing exclusively women as victims can you fit into the feminist dogma? So, which is it? Is everyone who believes men and women are equal a feminist, or just those who see women as the victims?

I’ll state something again that I’ve stated numerous times: Feminism itself doesn’t know what the fuck feminism is about. I see, all the damn time, people try and shame anti-feminist arguments by saying “well, he/she clearly doesn’t know what feminism is about.” I ask every single feminist out there: do you know what the fuck feminism is about? Because, I spend a lot of time on Facebook looking at feminist pages, reading feminist blogs, going to feminist websites and reading the articles and, I can honestly tell you, I’ve never seen a more contradictive, unsure, confused, hypocritical group of people in all my life. I honestly cannot fathom how feminism still exists as a movement.

‘This is what feminism is about’, except when it’s not, except when it’s about something completely contradictory. How can you possibly expect people to align themselves with your movement when there isn’t a clear aim in the first place? “We want equality!!” But what do you mean by that? Do you mean the ability for women to choose what to do with their lives, even if it means staying at home looking after the children while their husbands go to work? I wouldn’t have a problem with that, if feminists themselves didn’t shame the absolute fuck out of women who choose to do that:



Is it becoming clearer and clearer why I don’t like feminism? You see, I actually like women, I don’t give a fuck what they do with their lives. If they want to stay at home and raise the kids, then do it. If they want to work, then go and do it. Life’s hard, it’s full of choice and compromise, full of difficult decisions that sometimes mean we can’t do something we really want to do. If a family is lucky enough to be in a position where the man works and the woman can stay at home, and both people agree on that, then all power to them. Surely, that is why feminism fucking exists, it’s what feminism wanted, it’s the whole reason for existing? If that’s the case, why the fuck are they attacking the very people they claim to be liberating?

It’s so fucking exasperating to constantly see the contradictory attitudes that are rife within feminism, and then for them to have the fucking cheek to try and pigeonhole me into their little cult? They shame me, if I had a wife at home they’d shame her, they contradict themselves, they try to paint themselves as the happy movement that everyone wants, no needs, to be involved in, then turns round and spits it right back in your face.

“I’m a feminist, I believe in equality.”

“Do you believe that only women are disadvantaged in this society?”

“No, I believe everyone is equally disadvantaged, I want to help break down those disadvantages.”

“Sorry, this is a women’s only club here.”

“But it says in the advertising that everyone, regardless of gender, is a feminist if they believe in equality?”

“Ooh, cry me a river you fucking cunt. Male tears, patriarchy, rape culture, etc, etc.”

Everyone, regardless of gender is a feminist if they believe in equality? I tell you what, when you stop shaming the very people you claim to be helping, I’ll give a second thought to your sorry little movement. Until then, fuck you and your myopic little cult.

Feminism? I don’t need it, not now, not ever, no amount of colourful shaming pictures will change that.


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