I am woman, watch me rape (with impunity). England’s fucked up rape laws.

Posted: December 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

Sometimes I feel like I’m going round in circles with this blog. It seems every time I write an entry about one particular topic and move on, something else crops up on my Facebook feed that puts me right back at square one. I’ve already done 3 blogs about domestic violence, 2 on feminist victimhood and 2 on rape culture. Well, now make that 3 on rape culture. You see, something I never even realised became apparent to me today – according to English law (or, at least, law as much as I could find) women are actually allowed to rape with impunity.

Yeah, you read that right, I’ll get to the specifics in a minute, but first I’ll explain how I came to find this out. On Facebook someone posted this image:


I’ll get to the complete lack of compassion and empathy from Luke in a minute, but I was struck by what he said. ‘The current law in the UK does not see sexual assault from a female to a male as rape.” Wait, seriously? I figured that couldn’t be right, I figured it must be some outdated law he must be referring to; after all, the FBI recently changed their definition of rape after 80 years, so the UK can’t be that backward, surely? Then I remembered that the FBI’s new law, despite claiming to include male victims, actually still excludes men who are raped by women, so I decided to do some research on the subject as I was baffled as to how a woman could get away with rape.

Trust me, it wasn’t easy to find, in fact I found more newspaper articles dealing with rape than official pages. 20 minutes and about 6 different word combinations later I managed to find legislation.gov.uk that appears to be an official government website. Well, what I found was not only sickening but entirely too predictable The definition of rape was changed in 2003, yes 2003, 10 years ago, and is so fucking backward and out of date already it proves that no-one really gives a fuck about men, especially when it comes to rape. Actually, that’s a lie, people do give a fuck about men, but only when they can portray and depict them as animalistic, Neanderthal, monstrous, evil crime-committing fuckwits who are, quite clearly, the sole abuser out there. Yeah, it made me very angry.

The definition of rape:


The definition of Assault by Penetration:


The definition of Sexual Assault:


My country is fucked up. Honestly, it’s beyond comprehension that an act passed in 2003 still panders to the notion that only men commit rape and sexual assault. I recently wrote a blog entry on my experience at my work’s staff Christmas party. A woman who works at my school tried to kiss me three times. If I were a woman and a man had tried to kiss me three times I would, under the laws outlined above, be able to complain of sexual assault (if I decided the kissing constituted ‘touching’ and was ‘sexual’ in nature, which it was). However, I’m a man and, according to the rules above, I CANNOT claim I was sexually abused. That’s right, English law actually EXCLUDES women from committing any sort of sexual assault.

Let’s look at the wording for all three of the outlined laws above:

A person (A) commits an offence if he…

HE!!! There’s absolutely no mention of SHE. The three laws that deal with rape, sexual assault and assault by penetration in my country actually discount the ability of women to commit any of those crimes. Why such a clear, gendered description? This is the law that we live by, a law that, by its use of a gendered pro-noun, pretty much allows women to get away with three of the most talked about crimes in the UK today. It’s no wonder people think the majority of rapists are men, that’s because, technically, according to this fucked up law, they are men. They are men because women cannot legally rape, sexually assault or assault by penetration. A man can rape or assault another man, they included that in the wording, almost as if to say ‘look, we’re including men too’ but they decided to cut out women completely, because women, apparently are so fucking innocent.

I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’ve got this wrong, I really hope I’m wrong, because if I’m not this is fucking disgusting. I never realised the law actually precluded women from its wording. I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’m wrong, that there’s been an addendum to the law since 2003 that has corrected what is an unbelievable oversight in the way our country is governed. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to recant all the stuff in the previous paragraphs, I’d never be happier to be wrong again.

Anyway, back to the picture. It’s a brave man who recounts a story of being raped (yes, he was raped!), even in the face of a justice system that is so massively against him. A man, who was abused twice when he was 8 years old, has held on to the hate and suffering inside for 50 years. 50 damn years, and what happens when he finally decides to come clean, to admit what happened to a government initiative that was supposedly set up to help men like him, set up to allow victims to come forward and tell their story? What happens? He gets told ‘actually, it’s not rape.’

Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck kind of response is that?! A man who has waited 50 years, holding on to some of the most unimaginable pain and hurt, not being able to let go, a man who had to go through a life change in order to forgive himself and understand what happened, a man who, by his own admission, realises his childhood was robbed. Can you imagine being 58 and realising your childhood was taken away by some sick fucks who decided they had nothing better to do than rob you of what should have been some of the best years of your life? I can’t. My childhood was brilliant, I had friends, I had a loving family, I had a good education, I had good chances, I had it all. I cannot imagine the torment this man went through for 50 odd years.

And what compassion does he get? What kind of loving, caring response? What level of understanding did he get? Fuck all. Thanks to Luke, he gets a great big fuck all. After 50 years all he can get is some conceited response about why his suffering isn’t real, about how, according to the wording of the law, he wasn’t raped. Fuck the fact that he was raped, raped in all but the wording of the law, no, fuck that, discard it, dismiss it, cast it aside, instead focus on the fact he wasn’t raped, tell him that ‘actually what you suffered was sexual assault’. Actually, Luke you fuck face, according to the law he wasn’t even sexually assaulted. According to our wonderful justice system sexual assault can only be committed by a ‘he’. So yeah, according to the law you just have to suck it up and deal with it. You weren’t raped, you weren’t even sexually assaulted, you must have enjoyed it, you must have loved having your childhood taken away.

And what next? Luke then decides to patronise the poor man by saying it doesn’t lessen his trauma or the extent of his suffering. Why fucking mention it then? Why on earth, if you don’t want to lessen the experience of someone, if you don’t want anything to take away from the trauma of what happened, would you mention the fact he wasn’t raped. What possible help is that? How does Luke think that is going to aide in the recovery of this man? Seriously, if someone tells you they were raped, and they’ve suffered for 50 years, acknowledged that their childhood has been torn away, that they’ve spent their life trying to find a way of coping, the last you thing you should be doing is saying something as patronising as ‘sorry to hear your story, but, wahey, good news, you weren’t raped, now go and enjoy your day.’ How very helpful.

This is the problem men face in my fucked up shit-hole of a country. It’s not enough that domestic violence towards us is papered over, ignored, dismissed, even encouraged, it’s not enough that our humanity and intelligence is being slowly eroded through our portrayal as idiotic, bumbling, oafish Neanderthals on TV and in film, not enough that marriage has become a simple way to cripple us financially and keep us from our kids, not enough that our health issues are being massively underfunded compared to similar conditions in women, not enough that we are constantly demonised and dehumanised and blamed for our role in the insecurities women face, not enough that we will be sent to prison for longer amounts of time than women for comparable crimes, not enough we get shamed for earning more even though we work more dangerous jobs and work more hours, now we can’t even get the law to fight our corner. We can’t even get some government-initiated programme to accept that what we went through actually matters and that, perhaps, the law needs to be changed to suit that. No, instead we get patronising, insulting responses like the one Luke gave, that, despite his best intentions, take away from the experience, that lessen the experience because, according to a few words, that experience doesn’t count.

Luke ends this particular conversation by recommending phoning Survivors UK for a chat if ever required. I say, to every man who finds themselves in the same situation as William Lloyd, going to Survivors UK is the last thing you should be doing. Find a better alternative, find a place that will listen, that will accept your story and admit the law needs changing. Don’t phone a company who are so intent on sticking to the letter of the law that they are willing to downplay your suffering in the second fucking paragraph of a response.

I’m waiting for someone to tell me the law I quoted is wrong, I’m waiting for someone to tell me it’s been updated in the last 10 years. I’m waiting for someone to provide a better, more recent link that removes the gendered pronoun ‘he’ from the legislature and recognises the fact women can, and do, rape. At the moment this country, this wonderful country I call home, allows women to rape and sexually assault without fear. I’m going to say it now, by the letter of the law, if I were a woman I was sexually assaulted at my staff Christmas party. As a man, I have to live with the fact there is, apparently nothing I can do, no complaint, no objection, nothing. I am woman, hear me roar? I am woman, watch me rape this man and get away with it! I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’m wrong. If they can, I will write the biggest, most fucking heartfelt apology I’ve ever written, I’ll post a picture of myself on bended knee begging forgiveness for being so ignorant and short sighted as to miss what I was looking for.

Until then, fuck this country.

  1. Matthew says:

    Yeah, the whole world’s ‘rape’ crime charges and legal system in general is fucked up. If a woman is raped american police may not believe it and might be false rape charges common in this retarded society also called ‘The Best Place To Live’… I love your argument if you could, you should really try and get this story out so others can be aware and change the sex laws in United Kingdom it isn’t retarded like america. Go get help for men and women alike, men who are raped by women and women who are raped by men. I honestly think every other country has a chance to fix it and be equality in the legal systems, BUT america it’s broken already. Please do not ask help from feminists or be one they corrupted america already they have every police and legal team at their disposal to get them out of ‘Harms way’. See you! 😀

    • Matthew says:

      “If a woman is raped american police may not believe it and might be false rape charges ” meant to say they might be considerate but not sure to believe it since more false rape charges are starting to arise in america.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s