Alcohol consumption equals rape – but only if you’re a woman!

Posted: November 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

I don’t get angry very often. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I got really angry. Like, truly, honestly, shaking-with-injustice angry. I get frustrated, who doesn’t?! People who drive at 40mph in a 60mph (that’s miles per hour for all you non-Brits), people who walk two abreast down the pavement so I can’t get past, people who suddenly stop dead right in front of me, people who don’t say thank you if I’ve had the common courtesy to hold a door open for them all piss me off, but it’s more a sense of annoyance that I feel not anger. In those situations I usually just let off a bit of steam and then forget about it. If I’m in the car I might call them a cunt or something, but generally I move on pretty quickly, I don’t have the energy to stay angry for long, it’s totally counter-productive.

But then, every so often something comes along that really does make my blood boil. When that happens, I genuinely don’t know what to do with myself. It happens so rarely that I barely recognise what’s happening. Sometimes it feels like fear, I don’t know why but I will tell you one thing, it’s entirely uncomfortable. I don’t like it, in fact I downright hate it. Sure, I can get frustrated enough to tear chunks off someone if need calls for it, but true anger? Nope, don’t know how to deal with it, the ‘red mist’ as they call it that clouds judgement and makes you do stuff before you’ve realised what you’re doing. Never had to deal with it properly, which I see as a positive.

So what bought it on, this feeling of anger? Well, before getting on to the reason I’ll let you know how badly it’s affected me – I am currently in the middle of another blog entry about something completely different that has now been put on the backburner. That’s something else that never happens. Generally when I start a blog entry I finish it before moving on. Not this time, I’ve decided to start a new entry immediately.

This picture, originally posted by the Facebook page I Don’t Need Feminism (https://www.facebook.com/idontneedfeminismbecause?fref=ts ) and immediately raised my ire:

http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y472/johnsalmonworld/IMG_2711_zps9b6a560b.jpg

I did a blog about rape culture a few weeks back and the blatant ignorance of female-on-male rape was one of the issues. In that blog I talked about the way female-on-male rape was presented in films and television. Well, here we have a prime example of what I was talking about. In fact, I couldn’t have asked for a better example of feminist hypocrisy if I’d have written the bloody thing myself.

So, here’s the deal. I don’t believe we live in a rape culture, and I’ve alluded to why I don’t think we live in a rape culture before, but I’ll state it outright now – the statistics are far too sketchy and inconsistent. There’s the famous 1 in 4 rape statistic that’s been around for 30 years. That’s been debunked numerous times. There’re statistics coming in left right and centre that present one idea about rape, and then another set that present a contrasting idea. False rape accusations range anywhere from 2% (which is the feminist default statistic) to 40% (which seems incredibly high). You’ve got feminist memes coming out the wazoo that have been shown to be distorted, government statistics that are manipulative in the way they are presented and the questions asked, we’ve got politicised reports about the rape ‘epidemic’ in India, yet I’ve got Indians on my Facebook friends list who present stats that either contradict official opinion, or highlight inequalities in other areas that are on par. We’ve got people objecting to advertising campaigns because they ‘clearly’ depict gang rape (https://johnsalmonsworld.wordpress.com/2013/11/24/dolce-and-gabbana-they-love-a-bit-of-gang-rape/ ) and there are so many differing opinions on what actually constitutes rape that it’s hard to keep up.

This meme highlights what I believe to be one of the key points in my refusal to believe in rape culture – the hypocrisy of rape reactions. We are constantly bombarded with stats and images about how prevalent female rape is, to the point that we get phrases like ‘stare rape’ and ‘telepathic rape’ being bandied around with no hint of irony or sarcasm. Is it any wonder we live in a ‘rape culture’ when we can just assign the word rape to any sexual encounter? But, when it comes to male rape, the feminists are decidedly quiet, only breaking their silence to exclaim that ‘women can’t rape men’.

Bullshit. Women can, and do, rape men. And boys. And other women, funnily enough. But we don’t hear about that, because to admit that anyone else can get raped, aside from women, removes the feminists ability to cry victim at every opportunity. Why would you want anyone else to get a slice of the pie when you’re used to having it all to yourself? Doesn’t make sense, does it?! If I was a feminist I’m sure I’d be fighting tooth and nail to make sure I kept the monopoly on what does and doesn’t constitute rape as well.

But anyway, I’m losing track. The real point of this blog is the insane, blatant hypocrisy in those comments. Now, I haven’t read the article it’s responding to as that picture is all I have, but you honestly don’t need to read the article to understand this point.

These 3 women (I’m going to make a wild assumption that they’re women due to their screen names) are talking about a man getting drunk at a party, having consensual sex with a woman and then dating her for a few years. I have no problem if that is, indeed, what the article is about. Getting drunk and having sex is a decision you have to live with. As has been stated  in the past, you can’t get out of a drunk driving conviction by claiming you were intoxicated so were legally unable to make an informed decision about driving. The same goes with drunken sex, if you get yourself to a state where you give consent and have sex with someone you don’t want to, well, sorry, that’s your bad. You can’t complain about that, chalk it down to experience and get on with your life.

And before feminists absolutely crucify me, notice I used the magic word ‘consent’. If a woman, or a man, passes out through alcohol and somebody abuses them, that’s totally different to having consensual drunk sex.

The problem I have with the women in this meme is that there ignorance knows no boundaries. They use the ‘erection equals arousal equals consent’ as a valid argument when a basic knowledge of male anatomy tells you that, regardless of situation or stimulus, men can pop a boner at pretty much any point (http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/can-erections-happen-when-youre-not-sexually-aroused ). I’m a teacher and I’ve had some pretty embarrassing boners sometimes, not because I’m sexually aroused by children, but because I’ve been sat at my desk at break and it just so happened the fabric of my underwear rubbed my meat-and-two-veg the right way.

Getting an erection while passed out drunk doesn’t mean you consent, nor does it make what happened to any less rapey. Men get several erections during the time they are asleep (also unconscious) so it would appear that ‘erection equals arousal equals consent’ is a very simplified way of looking at the whole situation. Is it possible to rape a woman if she’s passed out drunk? Surely the fact her body lubricated itself during the act proves it was all consensual? See how ridiculous that sounds.

They also try to play down the incident as ‘sexual assault’ which, by their reckoning, is just as bad as rape but is less ‘melodramatic’. Does that not imply that when women accuse men of raping them they’ve just over-reacting? After all, what’s in a word? If the only reason rape as a word exists is because semantics are the way to elevate an assault beyond anything that is deemed ‘bad’ and into something deemed ‘fucking horrendous’ then we can safely assume any time a woman claims to have been ‘raped’ we should merely assume she is trying to make it out to be worse than it is, probably for more sympathy. Again, starting to see how ridiculous that sounds?

The worrying part, for me, is April’s response. Again, she plays to the ignorant assumption that a man getting it up is a sign of coherence and arousal, therefore implying that he wanted it. She also accuses him of ‘trivializing’ rape, because he wasn’t drunk enough to stop himself getting an erection. It’s a dangerous path of ignorance that, to make one assumption based on another assumption clouds the real point. If your argument is based on something that you yourself don’t truly understand then how can you expect me to take what you’re saying seriously? Having an erection doesn’t automatically equal sexual arousal, therefore the fact he got an erection doesn’t preclude this incident from being rape. That’s like me saying every time a woman orgasms during rape (which does happen) it validates the encounter as a consensual sexual experience. See how ridiculous that sounds?

Casey then decides to chime in with, what I believe is, the most monumentally stupid point in the whole meme – because he was blacked out, her story is more reliable than his. Did she really just imply that we should be listening to the potential rapist’s side of the story and just accepting it? Can you imagine the fury if a man tried to pull that defence? “Well, she was passed out but she did yes before she passed out, so I fucked her. Technically, since she was passed out and can’t remember what happened, my side of the story is more reliable, despite the fact I’m a rapist and of course I’m not going to admit to raping someone.” See how ridiculous that sounds?

If this was an isolated incident, or just some random gaggle of girls trying to justify a woman raping a man so as not to have to accept the fact that women do rape, I’d be able to pass it off. But the thing that got me so angry, the thing that made my blood boil, that made me experience that red mist that I never experience, is the fact this particular conversation is so at odds with this one:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/photo-public-sex-act-rape-woman-article-1.1487092

that it makes a complete mockery of the feminists attempts to define ‘rape culture’.

Let’s take a look at the difference, and hopefully it’ll be clearer why I don’t accept ‘rape culture’. In the first meme posted, a man gets drunk, gets an erection, apparently consents to sex, wakes up having not remembered anything and believes he has been raped. Women in comments try to justify the situation by saying stuff like “well, it could have been rape, but seeing as he was unconscious and got an erection I’m not sure if I’d count it as rape, it might be considered sexual assault, but we don’t need to break out the almighty ‘rape’ word, not yet anyway.”

In the news article, a woman gets drunk, in public, and has apparently consensual oral sex with a fellow student. In the morning she reports it as rape. Were people trying to justify the situation? Were they saying “well, she was drunk but the man said she consented, and he wasn’t as drunk, so we’ve got to believe him really.” No, of course they weren’t. Instead, we get people like Allie Erwin who automatically takes the side of the woman: “It was rape. She reported it to the police as rape.” No ambiguities, no grey areas, no “well she appeared to be smiling, so maybe it was consensual, just straight out, automatic acceptance. She reported it as rape, therefore it was categorically, unequivocally rape, no questions asked.

So there you have it, rape culture. When it comes to a woman claiming she’s been raped, general consensus is that she’s telling the truth, or at least general consensus according to feminists. But, when a man claims he’s been raped by a woman, we must try and find a way to explain it, we must try and rationalise how he ended up in that situation and see if we can someone apportion the blame on to him, convince him it wasn’t rape but his own stupidity in allowing himself to get drunk and pass out. Isn’t that what the feminists call victim blaming?

Chancery claims she doesn’t want to be demonised for ‘daring to question his testimony’. I completely agree, when alcohol is involved we should be able to question how a situation got that far, we should be able to scrutinise someone’s actions that night. If the end result is “well, you got drunk and did something stupid” then you chalk it up to life experience and you move on. That should apply to both sexes, at the moment it appears that we are only able to question it when its men accusing women of rape. When a woman accuses a man of rape that logic disappears, if we question her testimony we are misogynistic rape-apologists who should burn in hell.

That’s the feminism ideal for you, if you’re a woman then get as drunk as you like, be as stupid as you like then claim rape and you’re sure not gonna be fighting that battle alone. However, be a man, get drunk, do something stupid and then claim rape and, well, good luck trying to convince anyone you weren’t just a horny motherfucker whose erection was proof that you loved every second of it.

Rape culture, in a nutshell. Congratulations, feminism, you’ve made it all about you.

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Comments
  1. Wombat says:

    That only goes to show you that Rape Culture does exist, but since Feminists can’t ever seem to agree on a clear definition, allow me to do that for them; Rape Culture is a social construct created and maintained by Feminists as a way of turning a terrible crime into a cheap, easy to use political weapon. Rape Culture seeds mistrust between men and women because it tells women that all men are potential rapists and that anything a man does to a women is tainted and creepy, and it tells men that relationships with women are dangerous, because you are always one rape claim away from having your life destroyed; guilty or not.

    • johnsalmon86 says:

      I’d actually disagree with you on that one, for the very reasons you state. I say we don’t live in a rape culture because of the fact that the goalposts change so often in the eternal debate of ‘what is rape’, mainly decided by whatever the feminists feel on any particular issue.

      I can’t disagree with anything else you’ve said, you pretty much nailed it.

  2. Mike says:

    “…40mph in a 60mph (that’s miles per hour for all you non-Brits)…”

    I think that’s the first time I’ve seen a non-American say that, I’m Canadian myself.

    “…people who suddenly stop dead right in front of me…”

    Hello. :3

    Well, I do it to piss off people who’re walking to close to me so they trip over me the second I stop.

    But seriously, I enjoyed the article. It’s not exactly scholarly, but I think it gives a good introductory examination of the situation, and highlights the issues with the brand of sexism that Feminists endorse.

    • johnsalmon86 says:

      You should know I’ve taken to deliberately bumping in to people who stop dead in front of me! 😉

      These aren’t meant to be scholarly, if they were they wouldn’t be laced with personal opinion, they’d be a lot more subjective. This is entirely perspective on issues I see everyday.

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